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A 4-year study by the Palo Alto-based Rundex Family Foundation has linked iodized salt to erectile dysfunction.

Iodized Salt Linked to Male Impotency

A 4 year study conducted by the Palo Alto-based Rundex Family Foundation has discovered a linked between iodized salt use and male erectile dysfunction.
North Korea has made the usual step of purchasing a basketball player.

Kim Jong-un Purchases Michael Jordan

North Korea has made the usual step of purchasing a basketball player.
Aging rock band U2 nearly missed certain death by manure following an attempted 'peace concert' in Paris.

U2 Escapes Death After Attempting Peace Concert In Paris

Aging rock band U2 nearly missed certain death by manure following an attempted 'peace concert' in Paris.

Mexico Agrees to Pay for Impeachment

Mexican President Andrés Manuel López Obrador said his country would do whatever it takes to help with the impeachment process.

Trump Proposes Wall Around Megyn Kelly

Donald Trump announced he will not be participating in the next Republican Presidential debate because Fox commentator and debate moderator Megyn Kelly is mean. Facing criticism for being a gigantic pussy, Trump quickly countered by unveiling his "PMS Containment Wall," a proposed 8-foot, moveable wall encircling Kelly.
A younger, more hipster version of Colonel Sanders was spotted at the Grass Valley KFC enjoying a 3 piece meal. Source:

Colonel Sanders Found Alive in a Grass Valley KFC Enjoying a 3 Piece Meal

Even though Harland David Sanders, better known as Colonel Sanders, has been presumed dead for over 36 years, a keen local woman of 3 has snapped a picture of what appears to be a younger, hipster version of the king of fried chicken.
Brent Underwood has replaced all of the toilet seats at work with bidets.

Local Millennial Installs Bidets in Company Restrooms

Area millennial technology worker Brent Underwood took it upon himself late last week to replace all of his company's toilet seats with automatic bidet "butt washers," Gish Gallop has learned.
The Trump Administration has denied any involvement in the deportation of SNL's Lorne Michaels.

SNL Producer Lorne Michaels Deported To Canada

Creator and Producer of Saturday Night Live Lorne Michaels has reportedly been deported back to his native country of Canada. Mr. Michaels was seized by immigration officials early Sunday morning from his Amagansett, New York home without any forewarning.

Area Resident Suspects Dell Tech Support’s Name is not “Wayne Dean”

Mary L. Retton of Rough 'N Ready recently purchased a Dell desktop computer at the Staples store in Grass Valley. The sales price was a bargain and the computer came with the latest version of the Microsoft Windows operating system.
Margaret Vanda, staff scientist at MIT

MIT Scientists Successfully Clone Angus Young

Speaking at a press conference this afternoon at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT) announced they have successfully cloned rock guitar legend, Angus Young.
Friends of Nevada City's new campaign poster promoting the town's high crime rate.

Local Activists Cite High Crime Numbers to Deter Tourism

A vocal group of Nevada City activists cited recent high crime data in attempts to deter tourism and development in the quaint Sierra Foothills town.
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