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Donald Trump has nominated controversial conspiracy theorist Alex Jones for Press Secretary

Alex Jones Offered White House Press Secretary Position

In what is a surprise and controversial development for some, and a welcomed addition to others, President Donald Trump has nominated alt-right conspiracy theorist Alex Jones for White House Press Secretary, replacing Sarah Huckabee Sanders.
A new proposes California law will tax social media interactions.

California Proposes Taxing Social Media

A new controversial California law will tax social media interactions. It's expected to meet fierce resistance.

Adult Toy Accidentally Purchased from Salvation Army

Shelly Wagner made an unfortunate discovery Monday afternoon after purchasing a sexual aid she thought was a common household tool at the Salvation Army.
Noam Chomsky is considering a move to Canada or Quebec.

Noam Chomsky Hires Canadian Real Estate Agent

Renown MIT linguistics professor, media critic and social scientist Noam Chomsky has reportedly hired a Canadian real estate agent apparently with hopes of relocating to the United States neighbor to the north.

Soul Kitchen Closes, Saying Penn Valley Not a Good Fit

Penn Valley's Angel's Soul Kitchen restaurant is apparently dead on arrival. The newly-opened 'Soul Kitchen' felt obliged to shut its doors after only 24 minutes of operation. There may be hope, however.
White House advisor Jared Kushner is following in his Father-in-law's footsteps.

Jared Kushner in Talks to Sell Steak in Real Estate Tech Firm

Jared Kushner, a senior level White House official and son-in-law of President Donald Trump, is in talks to follow in his father-in-law’s footsteps by selling steak in his real estate company, according to a report by Bon Appétit Magazine.
Canada has apparently committed suicide after being linked to the Hillary Clinton email scandal.

Canada Dead Of Apparent Suicide

Tragedy has struck on a massive scale as the nation of Canada was found dead this morning of suicide. The U.N. is reporting that Canada was found suffocated in their sleep. Authorities are dumbfounded as Canada only left a one word note that said, "Sorry."
According to White House Insiders, President Trump is considering delivering the State of the Union from the McDonald's Parking lot.

Trump Considering McDonald’s Parking Lot for State Of The Union

According to White House insiders, President Trump is considering delivering the State of the Union from the McDonald's Parking lot.

Nevada City Autistic Boy Tells the Truth

13 year old high-functioning Autistic boy Reiko Paine has a knack for telling you "like it is." A straight-shooter, Reiko will tell you exactly what's on his mind.
A new White House leak reveals the contents of Vice President Pence's iPod.

Village People/Stryper Found on Mike Pence’s iPod

Yesterday on page A-12 of the Washington Post noted the contents of Vice President Mike Pence's iPod. The iPod leak, which is now being called iPodGate, came from a White House insider apparently in retaliation for the recent and hasty mass-firings of up to 45 Justice Department officials.
Lassen County County Muslims will have to register using Quick-Regâ„¢ system.

Lassen County to Implement Quick-RegMuslim Registry System

Gish Gallop has learned that the Placer County government in response to President Trump's recent executive action banning Muslims from entering the United States as deployed the controversial Quick-Reg Muslim Registry System.