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President Obama told a town hall meeting in Flint, MI that they can drink beer instead of water.

Obama Tells Flint Residents To Drink Beer

President Obama told a crowded town hall meeting in Flint, Michigan that they should take to drinking just beer after what experts are calling the greatest civil government failure in the past 50 years.

Obama Proposes “Leper-like” Colonies For Anti-Vaxxers

In a last minute press conference called to address the recent contagious disease outbreaks, President Obama has proposed a solution to deal with the Anti-Vaccination or Anti-Vax movement.

Study: Red Meat Consumption Unrelated to Manliness

scientists have concluded there is no discernible correlation between the amount of red meat consumed and the raw masculinity of the men consuming it.

Water Runs into the Ocean, Trump Points Out

President Trump gave a concerning and rambling speech about water and Iran during a press conference about a $16 billion farm bail-out package.
Senator Bernie Sanders will portray MIT Professor Noam Chomsky in an upcoming biopic.

Bernie Sanders to Play Noam Chomsky in Upcoming Biopic

According to sources close to Bernie Sanders, the Senator of Vermont has agreed to portray MIT Linguist and Social Scientist Noam Chomsky in an upcoming biopic.
Reactions are mixed avout the county's new anti-vax database

Sacramento to Disclose Addresses of Registered Anti-Vaxxers

In an announcement designed to proactively combat a potential pandemic, officials in Sacramento County declared that it plans to publish the names and addresses of "vaccine protesters."
A group of biology students from the University of Oregon have created Roundup resistant weeds.

Anti-Monsanto Activists Create Roundup Resistant Weeds

A group of environmental activists based out of Eugene, Oregon announced via Twitter that they have developed several species of weeds that are resistant to Monsanto's popular herbicide Roundup.
A source close to President Trump said that he would be willing to settle for a "Holographic Wall" along the Mexican border.

Trump Settles For Holographic Wall

A source close to President Trump said that he would be willing to settle for a "Holographic Wall" along the Mexican border.

Illegal Trimmigrant Thwarts Tweaker’s Gun Rampage

A local tweaker, identified as 27 year-old Jason Wayne Galbraith, reportedly stormed into Cafe Mekka this morning while firing shots through the front door and windows with a semi-automatic 9-mm handgun.

Trump Proclaims the US Government a Complete Failure

President's ironic comments come at a tense time for Trump.
Senator Ted Cruz apparently has advanced Colo-rectal and lip cancer.

Colo-rectal Cancer Forces Cruz Out Of GOP Race

In a press conference on the front steps of Houston Methodist Hospital, a visibly shaken Jeff Roe announced that presidential hopeful, Ted Cruz has been required, on doctors orders, to drop out of the GOP race to the nomination.
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