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Evidence of Black Bear Jeb's handiwork in shaming local Banner Mount Residents

Banner Mountain Bear Aims to Shame People into Eating Better

A local bear inhabiting the Banner Mountain community is tired of what he sees, and has decided to come forward in hopes that he can change some disturbing trends in resident's eating habits. According to sources close to the bear, he has stepped up his garbage raiding efforts of unsuspecting homeowners in order to shame them into eating better.
According to White House sources, President Donald Trump has blocked former FBI Director James Comey.

President Trump Blocks James Comey On Twitter

President Trump has blocked former FBI Director James Comey from his Twitter account. Comey was heading up an investigation of President Trump's ties to Russia during the 2016 election. Trump fired Comey before he was able to finish the investigation.
Hillary Clinton Is a Crook and Here's Why It Matters

Hillary Clinton Is a Crook and Here’s Why It Matters

Oh you hate her. And now here are the answers you've been waiting for.

Traffic on Highway 49 Blocked by Bounce House

Local child entertainment specialist and owner of Big Giggles Bounce Houses Jerry Dodge, parked his Ford Econoline 350 van just south of Lime Kiln Road and inflated one of his Bounce Houses in the right hand lane of Highway 49.
Dilbert requested a restraining order against his creator Scott Adams.

Dilbert Seeks Restraining Order Against Creator Scott Adams

In a highly unusual move for a fictitious character, Dilbert requested a restraining order against his creator Scott Adams.

Nation’s Barely Literate Angered by Dismissal of Views

According to a recent Pew Poll, America's mediocre thinkers are increasingly frustrated by what they see as a widespread dismissal of their opinions by their fellow citizens with above-average intelligence. Exacerbating their irritation is a seeming inability to communicate coherently.
The Easter Island moai that Cedar Ridge's Pete Johnson attempted to smuggle into the United States. Source, US Customs, Sacramento Bureau.

Area Man Caught Smuggling Easter Island Artifact

Cedar Ridge exotic pet owner Pete Johnson is in hot water today at Sacramento International Airport after he attempted to smuggle an entire Easter Island moai (one of the Island's famous monumental statues) through customs.
If toddlers need to fight for their family, they need to know how to safely do that, said APSAK director Condon Goss.

Children May Be The Solution to Gun Violence

If toddlers need to fight for their family, they need to know how to safely do that.
President Obama criticized the Burning Man art festival for a lack of diversity. Seen here in Honolulu with his daughter enjoying a shaved ice.

Obama Criticizes Burning Man for Lack of Diversity

In a rare press conference while on vacation in Hawaii, President Obama raised concerns about the lack of diversity at Burning Man.
Denise Hancock announced to her fellow Chipotle workers that "she's just in it for the money."

Corporate Stock Buy Backs Allow Chipotle Worker to Continue to Live Just Above the...

Denise Hancock announced to her fellow Chipotle workers that she's excited about the almost 1 trillion dollars worth of corporate stock buy-backs.
Garbage will be piling up during the Republican Convention in Cleveland, OH.

City of Cleveland Reports Dumpster Shortage While Republican Convention Is In town

City officials in Cleveland this morning were alarmed to find they are facing a massive dumpster shortage. Early data points to the shortage being directly related to the 2016 Republican National Convention being held in Cleveland.
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