Aging rock band U2 nearly missed certain death by manure following an attempted 'peace concert' in Paris.
Donald Trump announced he will not be participating in the next Republican Presidential debate because Fox commentator and debate moderator Megyn Kelly is mean. Facing criticism for being a gigantic pussy, Trump quickly countered by unveiling his "PMS Containment Wall," a proposed 8-foot, moveable wall encircling Kelly.
Even though Harland David Sanders, better known as Colonel Sanders, has been presumed dead for over 36 years, a keen local woman of 3 has snapped a picture of what appears to be a younger, hipster version of the king of fried chicken.
Area millennial technology worker Brent Underwood took it upon himself late last week to replace all of his company's toilet seats with automatic bidet "butt washers," Gish Gallop has learned.
Creator and Producer of Saturday Night Live Lorne Michaels has reportedly been deported back to his native country of Canada. Mr. Michaels was seized by immigration officials early Sunday morning from his Amagansett, New York home without any forewarning.
Mary L. Retton of Rough 'N Ready recently purchased a Dell desktop computer at the Staples store in Grass Valley. The sales price was a bargain and the computer came with the latest version of the Microsoft Windows operating system.
A vocal group of Nevada City activists cited recent high crime data in attempts to deter tourism and development in the quaint Sierra Foothills town.