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UCSF's first "reverse" GMO Dalmatian named "Blotch."

Scientists Create World’s First GMO Reverse Dalmatian

University of San Francisco scientists have successfully created the world's first reverse Dalmatian. The effort, which has been in the works for over 14 years in association with Cargill Corporation and the American Kennel Club, sought to create the world's first GMO dog.

UK Birds Fuming Over Austerity

Birds across the United Kingdom have taken-up smoking to reduce hunger pains caused by the government's recent austerity measures.
Russian President Vladimir Putin is set to award Nevada City Resident Sairhra Ruman the Russian Federation Star Medallion for her work in exposing the global Jewish conspiracy to control the economy.

Vladimir Putin to Honor Nevada City Resident

Current Russian Federation President Vladimir Putin is set to honor Nevada City resident Sairhra Ruman in what is said to the be the first award ever received by an American.

Greece to Implement the “Zimbabwe Plan” to Ease Liquidity Woes

The Athenian government announced at the close of business Monday night that they have enlisted a number of "Zimbabwe Financial Experts" to help inject desperately needed liquidity into the faltering economy.
State of Jefferson supporters seen in a file photo from 1941 searching for Chemtrail chemicals

Chemtrail Debate Reveals Deep Divide in the State of Jefferson Movement

A debate has opened up between State of Jefferson supporters in Southern Oregon and their Californian cohorts over the Chemtrail controversy.

Gish Gallop Review: Trout Mask Replica by Captain Beefheart

That's not to say the album isn't an interesting nor an important achievement. There was no album like it, nor was there any albums that come after it that even remotely like it.
The Trump Administration has denied any involvement in the deportation of SNL's Lorne Michaels.

SNL Producer Lorne Michaels Deported To Canada

Creator and Producer of Saturday Night Live Lorne Michaels has reportedly been deported back to his native country of Canada. Mr. Michaels was seized by immigration officials early Sunday morning from his Amagansett, New York home without any forewarning.
A Charlotte, NC man has declined to take a shower in a friend's bathroom. Source: Joen Schneider

Area Man Not Interested in Using Friend’s Shower

Charlotte, North Carolina native Joen Schneider politely declined to take a shower in his friend's bathroom after discovering that he had decorated his bathroom in an unconventional way.
CIA director John Brennan can't figure out who to help.

Intelligence Agencies Unable to Find Moderate Republican to Aid

Officials from the National Security Agency (NSA), Central Intelligence Agency (CIA), and Department of Defense (DoD) have admitted that their efforts to identify a moderate Republican to aid have yet to bear fruit.

Suicidal Towel Speaks Out

"Brown the Towel" has been living with the Thomas family since being purchased in 2012. He has been through it all, he has finally begun to crack from the abuse he has endured. Brown spoke to Gish Gallop from the towel rack, "you guys gotta get me out of here!". Brown sounded very distraught and was crying, "They rub me all over their bodies, use me to dry awful things off the floor. I don't know how much more I can take".
Veteran television journalist Gwen Ifill has died at the age of 61.

Gish Gallop Salutes Our Heroes: Gwen Ifill Dead at 61.

Veteran television journalist Gwen Ifill, the longtime host of PBS’ “Washington Week” and co-anchor of “PBS NewsHour,” has died. She was 61. A PBS spokesperson confirmed that Ifill passed away Monday after a months-long battle with cancer.
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