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Area Woman Uses Kombucha To Treat Schizophrenia

Fresh off her self-proclaimed successes in treating autism with coconut oil, Merrilee Longshoes of North San Juan, CA has announced a new treatment option for Schizophrenia: Kombucha. Kombucha is any of a variety of preparations of fermented, lightly effervescent sweetened black or green tea drinks that are commonly used as functional beverages for their unsubstantiated health benefits.
Vermont Senator Bernie Sanders arguing on chamber floor for his "Enchirito Restoration Act of 2017"

Bernie Sanders Proposes “Enchirito Restoration Act of 2020”

In what some are calling some of the Vermont Senator's greatest achievements, Bernie Sanders took to the chamber floors yesterday afternoon to introduce what he's calling the Enchirito Restoration Act of 2017 which seeks to force fast food giant to re-introduce the enchilada-like item on its menu.

Mormon Missionary Investigated For Belgium Terror Attack

The United Press International (UPI) announced that the European crime unit INTERPOL has confirmed that there is an open investigation of Mormon missionary, Mason Wells and his involvement in the Boston, Paris, and Brussels bombings.
A new Nevada City ordinance is requiring the police to use aromatherapy for prisoners in local jails.

Nevada City To Test Aromatherapy On Hardened Criminals

The quaint gold rush town of Nevada City, CA will be the first in the nation to experiment with aromatherapy on hardened criminals.
in a surprise development, President Obama openly smoked marijuana at a scheduled press conference.

Obama Gets High at Last Press Conference

In what appears to be an overt message both to his supporters and the incoming Donald Trump Administration, President Obama openly smoked cannabis during his last scheduled press conference on Tuesday.
Donald Trump has nominated controversial conspiracy theorist Alex Jones for Press Secretary

Alex Jones Offered White House Press Secretary Position

In what is a surprise and controversial development for some, and a welcomed addition to others, President Donald Trump has nominated alt-right conspiracy theorist Alex Jones for White House Press Secretary, replacing Sarah Huckabee Sanders.

Board of Supervisors to Supply Local Halloween Blood

As Halloween approaches, a Nevada County Attorney is stocking his wine cellar with the blood of Nevada County taxpayers. The October 27th Nevada County Board of Supervisors meeting agenda Consent Calendar requests an additional $150,000 to Count Tolancuono’s Grass Valley law firm.

Coldplay Promises Not to Put Super Bowl Fans To Sleep

Super Bowl fans attending the 50th mega NFL event breathed a sigh of relief on Friday when the halftime entertainment headlined by the British rock band Coldplay promised not to put everyone to sleep.
"Hot Dog Woman" Nora Byron of Modesto was getting even.

The Story Behind “Hot Dog Woman” [NSFW]

A surveillance video shot in the preparation area of a Modesto restaurant depicting a waitress inserting a hot dog into her nether regions has gone viral over the weekend. However the back story is tad stranger.

Safeway Shopper Attempts to Have Siri-like Conversation with Self-Checkout

Cedar Ridge resident Tommy Empire attempted on Wednesday afternoon to have a Siri-like conversation with a Safeway self-checkout machine.
Tim Savini of Oceanside, was described by his friends as being kind of temperamental

A California Man Commits Suicide During Karaoke Night

Tragedy struck earlier this week when a man took his own life in a local bar. Oceanside, California's Fremont Bar and Grill was having it's Saturday karaoke with it's usual mix of locals and Japanese tourists.
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