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Trump Losing to Coronavirus by 11 points in New Poll

A new Rundex Family Foundation poll shows Trump losing to the coronavirus by over 11 points.
California Senate Bill 4320.1 will ban all "single-use" toothpicks after 2022.

California to Ban Sandwich Toothpicks

California Senate Bill 4320.1 will ban all "single-use" toothpicks after 2022.

Truckee Couple Freezes To Death Awaiting Star Wars Opening

A Truckee, California couple sadly passed away late last night as they sat waiting in the sub-freezing temperatures for the premiere of Star Wars. Bill and Melynda Gates [no relation to Microsoft mogul Bill Gates] decided earlier this week to camp out at the NorthStar Resort Village Cinemas in order to be first in line to see this holiday season's movie blockbuster.

Terrible Stock Photo Toons Volume 10

Volume 10 of Terrible Stock Toons Volume 9 of Terrible Stock toons can be found here
Friends of Nevada City's new campaign poster promoting the town's high crime rate.

Local Activists Cite High Crime Numbers to Deter Tourism

A vocal group of Nevada City activists cited recent high crime data in attempts to deter tourism and development in the quaint Sierra Foothills town.
Artist's rendition of the proposed HAARP antenna array on Banner Mountain.

New HAARP Relay Station Source of Fierce Local Debate

Sources close to the government have leaked a memo stating that a "relay-like antenna device" might be installed in the important HAARP Banner Mountain location.

7 Last-Minute Gift Ideas for the Cult Member In Your Life

Well, as Christmas fast-approached, we here at Gish Gallop know what it feels like to run out of ideas. In fact, we ran out of good ideas over 7 years ago and have resorted to stealing them from other publications. None the less, we wanted to give you some great book gift ideas that your trapped friend or family member will appreciate.

Trump Campaign Hires Ryan Lochte As Truth Adviser

ASH MILL, NORTH CAROLINA -- While speaking to a campaign stop crowd outside a seafood restaurant, Donald J. Trump announced that his campaign has hired embattled Olympic swimmer Ryan Lochte as a special adviser...
im 'Bodean' James (center), leader of the Knights of Stone Mountain, politely declined an invitation to protest in Watts earlier this week.

White Supremacist Group Politely Declines Invitation to Protest in South Central Los Angeles

A Georgia-based white supremacist group has politely declined an invitation to hold a protest in South Central Los Angeles, CNN is reporting today.

Mormons Provide Solution to Area’s Chronic Drunk-Driving Problem

The Nevada County Sheriff’s Department announced a new pilot program yesterday enlisting members of a local Mormon mission to give free rides to late night bar-goers. The partnership seeks to put an end to decades of tragic fatal alcohol-related incidents along Nevada County roadways, particularly along the Highway 49 corridor.

Chemtrail Channeling Session Interrupted with Constant Farting

'ET' [Extraterrestrial] Channeler Darryl Anka was repeatedly interrupted by a series of loud farts from his channeled 'guest' Bashar at his recent appearance at the "Waking Universe-Open Mind" alternative wellness festival at the Red Lion Inn in Redding, California.
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