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Trump Outraged at Klan Rally Violence

A Ku Klux Klan (KKK) rally turned violent in Anaheim, California over the weekend as klansmen and protesters clashed, with three people suffering stab wounds and 13 people under arrest. Disturbing images of the violence have surfaced on social media, prompting presidential contender Donald Trump to express his outrage.
Passive-Aggressive Roofing's first purchase: a contractor's bucket truck.

Passive-Aggressive Roofing Aims to Indirectly Intimidate Customers

After becoming frustrated with the overcrowded "Aggressive" roofing services market in Nevada County, newly formed Passive-Aggressive Roofing Company hopes to fill that void with a stubbornly hostile, snarky and a resistive attitude towards all customers.

NRA: A New Revolution In Gun Control

The NRA held a massive press conference this morning to announce a side shift in their stance on firearms and gun control in America.
Poor playing hasn't kept David "Davi" Simmons from his favorite instrument. Seen here at his usual place on Commercial Street.

Area Man Still Sucks at Sitar

David “Davi” Simmons vividly remembers hearing the sitar for the very first time. It was during a late night “sesh” back in high school when a friend played him George Harrison’s Within You Without You from The Beatles late sixties masterpiece, Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band.
Ted Cruz hinted at forming a splinter political party called the Conservative Christian Liberty Party or CCLP at an Indiana campaign stop.

Ted Cruz Hints at Forming Christian Liberty Party

Texas Senator Ted Cruz hinted today at a Indiana campaign stop that he is considering forming a splinter political party called the Conservative Christian Liberty Party or CCLP

Amazon Echo Holds Family Hostage In Home

When the Johnsons took delivery of an Amazon.com echo, it created some controversy in their normally austere household. It also created an atmosphere of terror.
Ardwelia Kushborn took matters into own hands this past week and launched GlutenFreeSingles.com, which she described as "a place where gluten-intolerant singles can find the perfect match."

Area Woman Woman Launches Gluten-Free Singles Site

Nevada City resident and chemtrail clothing entrepreneur Ardwelia Kushborn took matters into own hands this past week and launched GlutenFreeSingles.com, which she described as "a place where gluten-intolerant singles can find the perfect match."

Satire Publication Apologizes for Accidentally Reporting Real News

An area satire publication apologizes for publishing real news labeled as satire.

Fireworks Package Destroys Amazon.com Warehouse

An Amazon Fulfillment Center Warehouse #DFW6 burnt to the ground overnight after a large fireworks package unexpectedly exploded while being carried by an automated robot "picker."
Frito-Lay brand snacks has declared their trial run of Ghost Pepper Challenge Cheetos a success.

Ghost Pepper Challenge Cheetos Promise “Ass Fire Hot” Experience

The makers of the popular Cheetos brand cheese snack Frito Lays announced that trial runs of it Ghost Pepper Challenge version of the snack food has been a massive success.
A new White House leak reveals the contents of Vice President Pence's iPod.

Village People/Stryper Found on Mike Pence’s iPod

Yesterday on page A-12 of the Washington Post noted the contents of Vice President Mike Pence's iPod. The iPod leak, which is now being called iPodGate, came from a White House insider apparently in retaliation for the recent and hasty mass-firings of up to 45 Justice Department officials.
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