Gish Gallop's News in Pics. The news you need to know without much thinking. Evolution is hard. You know, the dog has a...
British rocker Ozzy Osbourne was run over by a train yesterday afternoon in Birmingham. The train was reported to have been acting a little crazy, as eyewitnesses reported that it seemed to be steering directly toward a distracted Osbourne.
Heavy Metal rock innovator and bad-ass John Gallagher is running for President.
Gish Gallop has learned that John Gallagher, the lead singer and bass player for the heavy metal band Raven announced that he is seeking an independent run for President of the United States.

Caltech Scientist: Facebook Doesn’t Exist

According to CalTech astrophysicist Dr. Tral Aldrich, there is a distinct possibility that Facebook doesn't exist the way we have come to understand it. Dr. Aldrich, who has written extensively on String Theory and alternative universes, maintains that what we see and perceive may not be real
Shelly Wagner seen here "researching" scabies and ebola

Local Woman Uses Internet to Self-diagnose Gluten Disease

After spending over 12 hours "researching" ailments on the Internet, Shelly Wagner of Grass Valley, CA has determined that she has Celiac Disease. As the mother of two children, she has been feeling low on energy recently. So she took to the Internet to figure out what's wrong with her.
A leaked internal document from Facebook reveals how the social media giant controls your feed.

Leak: Facebook Feeds Managed By Two Grumpy Men in a Balcony

According to this anonymous source, who wished to only be identified as "Miss P" for fear of retaliation,  provided an internal memo the detailed how Facebook makes decisions about what appears on your feed.

Harvest News: “Farmers” Demand School Closures Due to Rain

Due to a somewhat unseasonal rainstorm, some Nevada County "farmers" are demanding that local schools close to give area families extra labor for an emergency harvest.
Legendary guitar player and King Crimson founder Robert Fripp is retiring to teach guitar at a Derry, New Hampshire music store.

Robert Fripp Retires to Teach Guitar in Derry, New Hampshire

Esteemed progressive guitar player Robert Fripp announced that he is retiring from his leadership position in King Crimson, and plans on spending his days at a Derry, New Hampshire's Smash Music located on East Broadway Street.