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Trump University plans on offering law degrees to everyone but Mexicans and Muslims.

Trump University Opens Law School: No Mexicans or Muslims Allowed

Donald J. Trump will be opening a law school under his Trump University banner, and no Muslims or Mexicans will be admitted, according to leaked documents.
Aspiring author Roy Riffle of Nevada City.

Area Hipster Worried Beard Not Long Enough for Sharia Law

Area author Roy Riffle is worried that he will not be able to grow a beard long enough to satisfy the requirements of the inevitable arrival of Sharia Law.

Grandma Under Fire for Serving National Socialist Cookies

Retired grandmother Mildred Fischer of Toledo, OH decided to serve what she called "heritage" cookies to her church friends following the service at Westerbridge Presbyterian Church this past Sunday.
Earlier versions of Star Trek has the courageous members of the Enterprise flinging about the bridge.

New Star Trek Series to Feature Shocking Technology

According to CBS and show officials, the upcoming Star Trek series will be host to some exciting technological breakthroughs, including one in particular that long-time fans of the franchise have been clamoring for.
A photo taken after the Queen's performance for the Energy Advisors team.

Queen Stuns Private Buckingham Palace Audience With 16 Minute Sitar Jam

According to reports from inside Buckingham Palace, Queen Elizabeth II of England surprised a private gathering today when she played 3 songs on the sitar.

NASCAR Announces Gaytona USA Cup Series 2018

NASCAR is officially announcing plans to move forward with the Gaytona USA National Racing Association -or Gay NRA for short.  The move was finalized after Gordon released in a private press conference that NASCAR was making moves to celebrate the gay community by giving them their own racing circuit.
Lassen County County Muslims will have to register using Quick-Regâ„¢ system.

Lassen County to Implement Quick-RegMuslim Registry System

Gish Gallop has learned that the Placer County government in response to President Trump's recent executive action banning Muslims from entering the United States as deployed the controversial Quick-Reg Muslim Registry System.

Mass-Stabbing in Colorado Leaves Many Dead, Several Wounded and a Few Scratched

A man walked onto Colorado campus this morning and began what survivors are calling, "stabbing spree!" The alleged perpetrator is said to not have been a student at the college, and his motives for this vicious attack are unclear at this time.
Moments later, Green Party Presidential candidate Jill Stein attacked Triumph the insult dog with a can of spray paint.

Triumph the Insult Dog Attacked by Jill Stein in North Dakota

The world's most famous animal comedian Triumph the Insult Dog was attacked with a can of green spray paint by Green Party Presidential Candidate Jill Stein while she attempted to spray-paint a bulldozer.
Tom "Snowflake" McClintock (R-CA) introduced the Peace and Tranquility Act of 2017 which seeks to limit guns to Democrats.

Republican Lawmaker: Limit Guns for Democrats

Congressional Republican Tom McClintock (R-CA) introduced a bill today to limit registered Democrats access to firearms. Mr. McClintock, who represents California's conservative 4th district, said part of the motivation for unprecedented Peace and Tranquility Act of 2017 was some "liberal rebel-rousing" at a recent town hall meeting he held in Roseville, CA.
The troubled Health Nut News Facebook page was purchased by Gish Gallop moments after it was shut down for violating community standards.

Health Nut News Facebook Page Bought by Gish Gallop

Moments after being shut down for violating Facebook's community standards, the 92-year-old publication Gish Gallop purchased the troubled page and is planning on re-launching it as a orgonite and pro-beef industry re-education page.
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