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Heavy Metal Legends Megadeth to Play for Bernie Sanders

The pioneering heavy metal band Megadeth has offered to play at Sanders' upcoming rally before the next primary on Saturday, November 2nd in San Jose, and the Sanders campaign has enthusiastically accepted.
California announced that it plans on building as many as 8 coal-fired power plants in the next few years.

California to Build 8 Coal-Fired Power Plants

California energy officials have made a startling announcement that the State plans to use Federal Energy Department funds to build as many as eight new coal-fired power plants over the next 4 years.
An early morning retweet by President Trump inspired hundreds across the country to discharge their weapons into the air.

Mayhem Breaks Out After Trump Praises Controversial Billboard

An early morning retweet by President Trump has caused property damage across multiple states causing many people to seek shelter from falling gunfire.

Yuba River Male Gender, Not Female Study Finds

According to researchers at the influential Rundex Family Foundation in Palo Alto, CA, the three forks Yuba River should be referred to using male adjectives.
Moments later, Green Party Presidential candidate Jill Stein attacked Triumph the insult dog with a can of spray paint.

Triumph the Insult Dog Attacked by Jill Stein in North Dakota

The world's most famous animal comedian Triumph the Insult Dog was attacked with a can of green spray paint by Green Party Presidential Candidate Jill Stein while she attempted to spray-paint a bulldozer.

Biblical Archaeologists Find Noah’s Ark in Nevada City, CA

Archaeologists from Brigham Young and Southern Methodist Universities have discovered remnants of Noah's Ark on the side of a Nevada City, CA mountain.
If you eat this, you will die a painful death.

Brief: Wild Mushroom Not Eaten

Nevada City, CA -- After much debate on a local Facebook Group, a Nevada City man has decided not to pick and eat a mushroom he found...

Reuters Video: Clinton, Trump Make Deal To Sink GOP

A stunning bombshell was dropped into the unhinged American presidential race today. Reuters Paris reporter, Belda Suave unearthed a video that sheds new light onto the election.
President Donald Trump has promised to bring back greatest to West Virginian Coal miners in the form of black lung.

Trump Promises Black Lung Benefits for All West Virginians

The men, women, and children of West Virginia are breathing a collective sigh of relief today after President Donald J. Trump promised all residents in and surrounding coal country would be eligible for black lung benefits, regardless of past medical history.
It seems ISIS and Donald Trump have one thing in common.

ISIS, Taliban Issue Joint Statement Supporting Trump’s Transgender Military Ban

ISIS, in conjunction with the Taliban in Afghanistan, have issued a joint press release this morning, commending President Donald Trump’s anti-transgender military policy.

California Schools Replacing QWERTY Keyboards With Common Core Versions

A new "progressive" approaching to learning is coming to California.
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