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Recently Paroled Unabomber Spotted at Area Best Buy

Convicted "Unabomber" Ted Kaczynski was spotted in an area Best Buy electronics store earlier this week shopping for a new laptop and mobile phone, according to several sources from the Auburn, CA location.

Safeway Shopper Attempts to Have Siri-like Conversation with Self-Checkout

Cedar Ridge resident Tommy Empire attempted on Wednesday afternoon to have a Siri-like conversation with a Safeway self-checkout machine.
Laura Ingraham: What's the big deal?

Laura Ingraham: What’s the Big Deal?

Conservative pundit Laura Ingraham sent shock waves through social media when she ended her speech at the 2016 Republican National Convention and appeared to briefly give a salute synonymous with a certain group of pro-genocide Germans. This morning on her syndicated radio show, she said she didn't understand what all the controversy is about.
Hillary Clinton discusses Donald Trump's member at a campaign stop in Costa Mesa, CA.

Size Matters: Hillary Clinton Discusses Trump’s Member

Hillary Clinton made reference to Donald Trump's member today at a larger-than-average rally in Costa Mesa, CA this afternoon.

Area Man Regrets Selling Kidney on Black Market

"If I had to do it again, I wouldn't do it," said Mr. Igo. "But I try to watch what I eat and drink. Thank god there was no Facebook back then. All the dumb stuff I did as a kid was before the Internet.
Ernest Dahlman is quite sure what kind of white racist he is.

Area Man Confused About What Kind of Racist He Is

Third generation local Norwegian resident Ernest Dahlman is not quite sure what kind of "white racist" he's supposed to me. Mr. Dahlman, 42, once recently called a "white racist" on a local Facebook comment thread and immediately became confused on just what kind of white person he was.
Disneyland and Monsanto are teaming up for free vaccinations for most park visitors

Disneyland to Offer COVID Vaccinations

The Magic Kingdom is going all-in on vaccines.

ISIS Invades and Attacks Area Man’s Brain

Mr. Jason Dant, 32, informed his social network "friends" that he intends to enter into "battle" with these forces until liberty and the American Christian way has prevailed.
Tim Savini of Oceanside, was described by his friends as being kind of temperamental

A California Man Commits Suicide During Karaoke Night

Tragedy struck earlier this week when a man took his own life in a local bar. Oceanside, California's Fremont Bar and Grill was having it's Saturday karaoke with it's usual mix of locals and Japanese tourists.
Hoover's latest spokesperson, ex-AC/DC front man Brian Johnson

Ex AC/DC Singer Brian Johnson Debuts New Hoover Vacuum Jingle: VIDEO

Johnson debuted his new Hoover vacuum jingle to mixed reviews over the weekend. “It fucking rocks,” said longtime AC/DC die-hard, Larry Burgess. “It sounds like he did took a time machine back to the early 80’s. Powerful stuff man!”
Jason Dant of Penn Valley says his local militia will stake out a space on Grass Valley's new cell phone tower.

Local Militia Plans To Use New Cell Tower To Stop Rioting

Penn Valley's Jason Dant says his local militia will stake out a space on Grass Valley's new cell phone tower to prevent "libtards" from taking over America.
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