Penn Valley, CA — A local community has been sent reeling by a massive raw sewage spill into their parks and private lake. The Lake Wildwood community, a private gated community with a private lake in western Nevada County, received more than they bargained for when county workers, by order of the Nevada County Board of Supervisors, opened up gaping holes in the communities sewer system.
This is not a big deal at all, said Supervisor Hank Weston who represents Lake Wildwood. We wanted to see what the sewer system looked like inside. We planned a certain amount of spillage, we just let it get away from us a bit on this one.
Some residents of the private gated community were upset.
“Look at my beautiful lakeside property,” cried Joe Herndon, a new resident to the community. “We just bought this place and paid a pretty penny for it too. Now it is covered in a foulness that I could never have had imagined”, his wife, May sobbing at his side. “Now, living here is worse than living at Lake of the Pines.”
Some had a more sarcastic reaction.
“It couldn’t have happened to a nicer or more deserving group of people”, commented Lake of the Pines resident, Larry Kroker. “I was doing a yard clean-up job down the street when those dim-witted county boys sprayed the neighborhood with fecal matter. It was pretty funny once I got out of the path of the poop.”
Community leadership has notified the more than 7,000 residents to stay out of the lake and off of the ground until a Haz-Matt crew can suck up the offensive debris.
When Gish Gallop pressed county supervisor Weston for a time line on the clean up completion, he told us that frankly, “he had no idea. We are stone cold broke because of legal fees and lack of income after banning the cultivation of cannabis. However, we have been assured that, while the spill is gross, it is only dangerous for the unvaccinated crowd.”