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Michele Bachmann Not Afraid to Say What We All Know

Michele Bachmann announced to America over the weekend what Americans everywhere already knew: that 'gays' will "freely prey on little children sexually."

Trimmigrant’s Skinny Jeans Leads to Hospitalization

It is that time of year when hundreds of migrant workers descend on Nevada County for the marijuana harvest, they are known to locals as "trimmigrants".  
New Grass Valley Police Officer

Brief: Grass Valley Police to Hire Former Ferguson, Missouri Officer

The Grass Valley Police Department release a memorandum late this week notifying the public that it has hired a former Ferguson, Missouri police officer. In the memo, the department wanted to make it clear that the new hire was in no way politically motivated, nor was there anything more "than a routine hire."

Authorities Warn of Several Dangerous and Imminent ‘Isms’

Several acting directors in the government issued a grave warning.
A Salem, Oregon man believes he can treat erectile dysfunction with bee stings.

Area Man Maintains Erection With Bee Stings

A Salem, Oregon man believes he can treat erectile dysfunction with bee stings.

Crucifixion is a Doddle, Old Man Tells Police

An elderly San Francisco man is not taking capital punishment seriously.
Iconic American performer Jerry Lewis is dead at 91.

Gish Gallop Salutes Our Heroes: Jerry Lewis Dead at 91

Jerry Lewis, the comedian and filmmaker who was adored by many, disdained by others, but unquestionably a defining figure of American entertainment in the 20th century, died on Sunday morning at his home in Las Vegas.
Prince has died at the age of 57.

Gish Gallop Salutes Our Heroes: Prince Dead at 57

The artist known as Prince, then as nothing, then as Prince again who pioneered “the Minneapolis sound” and took on the music industry in his fight for creative freedom, died Thursday at age 57.
Senator John McCain has been re-assigned to a new role in the Senate.

John McCain Demoted for Snoozing

Senators Chuck Schumer and Mitch McConnell both brought the bipartisan matter to the Senate in a closed doors hearing. The vote was 99-1 in favor of demoting John McCain from Congress.
As the largest environmental solutions provider in North America they have the power to revolutionize the business model for cleaning up neighborhoods of excess dead bodies.

Waste Management To Offer Dead Body Pickup Service In Response To Proposed Health Care...

The Houston-based Waste Management corporation announced a plan to offer curbside dead body pickup service to offset what critics say would be a direct consequence "Trumpcare" which will overwhelm present mortuary services.

97% Chance of Contracting Herpes at Burning Man

The Pershing County Sheriff in conjunction with other Lovelock, NV officials has published a 412 page report warning that almost 97% of Burning Man "degenerates" will contract Herpes at this year's festival.