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Richard Simmons Found Not Dead In L.A.

Richard Simmons, the 67 year old fitness guru known for his "sweating to the oldies" workout videos, has been found alive.
Men firing blanks has been a disadvantage to many families for many cycles, but leave it to Trump to turn it into an advantage for the country.

Trump’s Ingenious Plan to Stop ISIS

Among the many scandals plaguing the Trump administration in the last few weeks, the secret arms deal Trump negotiated with Middle Eastern nations appears to have evaded the scrutiny of the mainstream media.

Gish Gallop Recipe: Placenta ala King

Here's a recipe my grandmother used to talk about all the time. She raised eight children during the Great Depression and never wasted a single morsel of food.

Local Newspaper Outsourcing Operations to Barstow, CA

Penn Valley, CA -- The 92-year-old Nevada County Gish Gallop announced late Sunday night that it plans on outsourcing printing operations to Barstow, CA in a cost-cutting effort to increase operating margins. "This is a...

Noam Chomsky Tweets Unsuccessfully

Renown MIT linguistics professor and social media critic Noam Chomsky reluctantly entered the "Twitter-sphere" this week with somewhat disastrous results. The famous Linguistics Professor and darling of the political Left throughout the world has been critical of social media and in particular, Twitter.
Representative Steve Kinf (R-IA) donned a conservative Islamic woman's burqa into Congress late this week.

Rep. Steve King Arrives in Congress Wearing Burqa

In what many liberal pundits are calling a craven publicity stunt, Anti-Islam immigration activist and current Congressman representing Iowas 4th district Representative Steve King arrived in the House Chambers this week donning a burqa.
Sex offenders Roger Ailes and Bill Cosby plan on campaigning with Donald Trump to provide moral support.

Roger Ailes/Bill Cosby To Join Donald Trump for Moral Support

Former Fox News CEO Roger Ailes and former decent human being Bill Cosby will accompany the alleged billionaire at all of campaign rallies until Election Day.

8 Famous People You Didn’t Know Were Transgender

Gish Gallop presents 8 people you didn't know were transgender, featuring people you didn't know were transgender.
A shocking new poll reveals how Americans really feel about abortion.

POLL: Most Americans Unsure About Late-Term Abortion Unless The Fetus Is A Trump

A shocking new poll reveals how Americans really feel about abortion.

Military Says “No Measurable Outbreak” in Cedar Creek, CA

Officials are urging calm stating that there is no "significant outbreak" in Cedar Creek, CA.
While nihilists across the country have tried to reconcile their lack of beliefs with our President's lack of beliefs, one man has decided to analyze his nihilism.

Area Nihilists Find Empathy in the Era of Trump

A man was struck existential recently as he realized that names, headlines, and titles could be misrepresentations of the material provided, and that he might, perhaps, benefit by looking deeper into the subjects at hand.
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