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Margaret Crowley of Grass Valley was hoping the new Mr. Clean Magic Eraser would fill her existential void.

The Amazing Mr. Clean Magic Eraser Fails to Prevent Existential Crisis

A creeping and gnawing feeling that something isn't right continued its steady march for the 11th consecutive year as area woman Margaret Crowley failed to find enlightenment after purchasing the amazing and revolutionary Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Hollywood actor Jeremy James filmed what experts believe is evidence of a weapon used to start the Malibu forest fire.

Video: Directed Energy Weapon (DEW) Used In Malibu

Directed Energy Weapons or DEWs have been used in the recent Malibu, CA fires.
Somehow both Ozzy Osbourne and Keith Richards have escaped the grips of death in 2016.

Ozzy Osbourne and Keith Richards Oddly Survive 2016

Veteran and aging rockers Keith Richard and Ozzy Osbourne seem to have escaped what other popular musicians have not been able to do: 2016.
A California man will spend up to 30 days in prison for accidentally farting in a Malaysian elevator.

Trump Supporter Jailed for 30 Days after Farting in Malaysian Elevator

A California man will spend up to 30 days in prison for accidentally farting in a Malaysian elevator.

Pope Francis Proposes Friday Sabbath

Pope Francis has delivered a sweeping encyclical officially amending doctrine to move the Christian Sabbath from Sunday to Friday.

Democrat Coronavirus Supply Trains Spotted In Oregon

The Democrats are responsible for this latest virus outbreak, says an Oregon patriot group.

Nation’s Barely Literate Angered by Dismissal of Views

According to a recent Pew Poll, America's mediocre thinkers are increasingly frustrated by what they see as a widespread dismissal of their opinions by their fellow citizens with above-average intelligence. Exacerbating their irritation is a seeming inability to communicate coherently.

Woodstock 50th Anniversary Postage Stamps To Feature LSD Adhesive

If your mellow has been harshed lately, these are sure to help.
Following the election of Donald Trump, the 92 year old Nevada County Gish Gallop is concerned about its George Soros funding sources.

Local Paper Concerned About Fate of George Soros Grants

The 92 year old Nevada County Gish Gallop revealed today that it is concerned about the interruption of one of its primary revenue streams being interrupted after Donald Trump becomes the 45th President of the United States later this week.
Don Vada of North Bloomfield

Area Dickhead Says Guys Who Yell ‘Fake News’ on Facebook are Probably ‘Gay’

Local malcontent and self-proclaimed dickhead Don Vaca really hates people who state the obvious. Recently, while attempting to order a Starbucks drink at a local, privately-owned coffee shop, Mr. Vaca announced loudly to the crowded cafe that anyone who points out 'fake news' is probably a 'fag.'
Simmons was blasted with fire from Arcanine's flamethrower ability.

Pokemon Kills Unarmed African-American Man

Chris Simmons was blasted with fire from Arcanine's flamethrower ability. He was killed instantly. Arcanine was later captured by Jim Tabor, a white man armed with a poke' ball. This information has led police to believe the killing was racially motivated.
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