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Local Middle School to add 6 More “No Smoking” Signs

Area middle school administrators announced on Monday that they would be adding an additional 6 "No Smoking" signs on the campus to accompany the 8 that currently are being displayed on the campus.
In an 8-1 decision, the Alabama Supreme Courted Ruled that all citizens must obey the word of God.

Alabama Supreme Court Rules God is Real/Citizens Must Obey

In an 8-1 decision, the Alabama Supreme Courte ruled that all citizens must obey the word of God.
A sample of Nevada City's "toilet cam" being installed in area restrooms.

Area City to Install Cameras in Men’s Restrooms

Nevada City is planning on installing cameras in all city limits male restrooms to, in the words of the leaked document, "keep an eye on potential male preditors."

Let Me Tell You About Your Kids, Says Childless Man

Local technology worker Brent Underwood says he's "got the whole kid thing figured out" despite not having any children of his own. Mr. Underwood says he's got a unique understanding of child development and parenting wisdom from closely observing families for the past 5 years.
Trump and first daughter Ivanka seen here just prior to the President's unfortunate remarks.

President Trump Mispronounces Niger

The President made an accidental slip of the tongue today and mispronounced the African country Niger.
Democrats claim they need no help from the Republicans to destroy their hopes.

Republicans Accuse Democrats of Bombing Themselves-Democrats Claim They Need No Help in Destroying Their...

Democrats claim they need no help from the Republicans to destroy their hopes.
Aspiring author Roy Riffle of Nevada City.

Area Hipster Worried Beard Not Long Enough for Sharia Law

Area author Roy Riffle is worried that he will not be able to grow a beard long enough to satisfy the requirements of the inevitable arrival of Sharia Law.
Senator Majority Leader Mitch McConnell has suddenly had a change of heart.

Black Militias Spotted in Kentucky: Senate Immediately Considers Gun Ban

Senator Majority Leader Mitch McConnell suddenly has a change of heart.
A 2 year study has demonstrated a causal link between Minecraft game-playing and autism.

Study: Minecraft Causes Autism

A 2 year study conducted by the Palo Alto, CA-based Rundex Family Foundation and sponsored by the Family Research Council (FRC) has determined that the popular childhood game Minecraft might cause Autism.

Asperger’s Support Group Meeting Awkwardly Silent

A weekly support group meeting of Asperger's patients was awkwardly silent for the 6th straight week according to participant Don Bessert of Plymouth, MA.
Presidential hopeful Donald Trump would be open to flying the Russian flag over the White House.

Trump to Honor Russia at White House

In a recent interview, President-elect Donald Trump discussed the possibility of hoisting the Russian flag over the White House as one of the first actions in January.
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