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Starbucks To Manufacture Own Customers

In a bid to boost sales, fill their franchise locations and interestingly lift employee morale, The Starbucks Coffee Company announced Monday that it plans on manufacturing its own customers. The program also seeks to increase customer satisfaction.

Gish Gallop’s Top 20 Death Threats

We here at Gish Gallop regularly get quite colorful death threats from our fans. While dozens of calls and emails to Gish Gallop a day are really very nice and often informative, many calls to our contact number (530-362-8471), and our email are very specific about the type of grave bodily harm Gish Gallop fan contacting us would like to inflict upon one writer or another.
The Supreme Leader is angry that American Sniper is not about him.

North Korean Leader Upset American Sniper Not About Him

Pyongyang, North Korea -- In a bizarre press release from the reclusive and eccentric North Korean dictator, the country's supreme leader Kim Jong Un announced that he was angry that the recent biopic film...

Local Entrepreneur Thwarted by DSL

Nevada County Home Business "Shake It Well" came to a screeching halt on Sunday night when Bob and Danni Schlozmeyer's DSL went down for the 3rd time that day and the 19th time this week.
This picture of the Ebola virus can not harm you from your computer screen, we think.

County Citizens Preparing for Zika, Ebola, MERS, Tuberculosis, Scabies and Zombie Outbreaks

Given the recent news of deadly viral outbreaks around the globe, coupled with the current immigration crisis at the Nation's borders, many Nevada County citizens are bracing themselves for an onslaught of deadly diseases followed naturally by the Zombification of the entire population.
Russian-backed hackers have altered popular Fake News browser plug-ins and inserted a virus.

Homeland Security Warns of Russian Virus in Fake News Browser Plug-in

The Department of Homeland Security has issued a brief via its advisory system warning citizens that several web browser extensions contain malicious code that seems to have originated from Russia and Macedonia.

Obama Orders Government to Make Buzzfeed-style Internet Lists

Obama has ordered the government to re-write all regulations, laws and placards into tidy 6-10 "steps" to make it easier for the American population to read good.
Jeanette Kurtz of Orlando, Florida is out of work as a NASA CGI specialist.

Flat Earth CGI Artist Unemployed After Being Replaced By NASA Supercomputer

Jeanette Kurtz of Orlando, Florida had finally landed her dream job 3 years ago working for the National Aeronautical Space Agency (NASA) working as a computer audio/visual design specialist.

Gish Gallop on the Street: What Does Oriental Taste Like?

Gish Gallop was curious on what "Oriental" Top Ramen tasted like. So we asked a few grocery store customers for their opinion on this popular flavor.
Ryan Wolford

Roundabout Shows Modern Technology’s Weakness

A Google self-driving car caused a traffic jam in Grass Valley over the weekend. A Google engineer decided to try out the new driver-less car in this area to, as he explains, “put it through the paces of my own hometown, where I learned to drive.”
Derp: a substitute for speech regarded as meaningless or stupid, or to comment on a foolish or stupid action.

Anti-Derpism and the Rise of Internet Neo-Rationalism

There is no question that conspiracy theories have found a comfy home on the Internet. After decades of living in marginal publications and casual hearsay among friends, many of these "theories" have found a comfy home largely in closed and private Facebook groups.
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