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Vans New “Boot on Head” Marketing Campaign Deemed a Failure

According to executives and the Cypress California headquarters the campaign, which was targeted at the growing demographic of angry American conservatives, was designed to capture "the lifestyle choices of the angry Right-wing voter," said Vans' Director of Market Bethany Millbright.
65% of your canned tuna is not tuna.

Study: 65% of Canned Tuna Isn’t Tuna

A 4 year study by the Federal Food and Drug Administration (FDA), in collaboration with the Palo Alto-based Rundex Family Foundation has published a report that as much as 65% of all canned tuna is not actually tuna, but other forms of "sea life proteins."
Fappy the Dolphin moments before he was raped by Fox News lawyers.

Fox News Lawyers Rape Dolphin in Arizona Court

A favorite mascot for childhood morality was gang-raped by a team of Fox News lawyers on Thursday, setting off what insiders are calling "a wave of sadness."
The State of Jefferson is one step closer to statehood after filing a 31-page Complaint for Declaratory and Injunctive Relief.

State of Jefferson One Step Closer to Statehood

Steve Baird, the voice behind the State of Jefferson (SOJ) movement and the face behind the Citizens for Fair Representation (CFR), walked his 31-page Complaint for Declaratory and Injunctive Relief into the clerk’s office at the Eastern District of California, Sacramento Division, Monday morning, May 8th.

Biden Solidifies Progressive Base With Steve Hackett VP Nod

Joe Biden has chosen former Genesis guitar player Steve Hackett in an attempt to attract more Progressive voters.
One of 14 Chemtrail clean-up sites across the nation that will be abandoned if Trump's budget cuts go through.

EPA Abandons Chemtrail Cleanup Program Following Trump Budget Cuts

The Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) announced today during a weekly press conference that it will suspend all activity around geoengineering investigations and related clean-up programs.
Yellowstone bear Thomas is worried about his cholesterol.

Yellowstone Bears “Cutting Back” on Obese Visitors

Given that there are a record number of visitors entering the Park each year, and that funding for operations is at all-time low, the park's chief omnivore has had its "pickins" of what to eat
Jesus in the clouds

Jesus Spotted in Western Nevada County Clouds

A Gish Gallop reader has sent in the following photograph depicting what appears to be Jesus Christ arriving in the clouds in Western Nevada County.
Hanes' latest trademark OxyCotton is raising some industry eyebrows.

Hanes Trademarks OxyCotton

In what is raising more than a few eyebrows in the garment industry, Hanes Brands, the parent company of the popular line of Hanes undergarments has trademarked the phrase OxyCotton for its new line of mens and women's underwear.
INTERPOL Chief Inspector Marcel Douseau

Shocker: Paris Shooters Actually Christians

Paris police, in conjunction with Interpol, dropped a bombshell this morning. A manifesto uncovered during the investigation is now pointing investigators in a new, and unforeseen, direction.
Karen Waters of Topeka, Kansas received a swift response from Jesus Christ.

Area Woman Asks Jesus to Protect Trump. Jesus Says No

Karen Waters of Topeka, Kansas received a swift response from Jesus Christ.
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