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Vans New “Boot on Head” Marketing Campaign Deemed a Failure

According to executives and the Cypress California headquarters the campaign, which was targeted at the growing demographic of angry American conservatives, was designed to capture "the lifestyle choices of the angry Right-wing voter," said Vans' Director of Market Bethany Millbright.

Area Man Accidentally Terrorizes Save Mart with Axe

According to sources leaving the store, Mr. Morgan didn't go on a murderous rampage through the grocery store, but rather was walking around the aisles with a young boy holding what appeared to be a 6 to 8 lb. maul axe.

Chemtrail Film Festival Coming To Nevada City, CA

The Chemtrail Action Network (CAN) announced the first ever traveling Chemtrail Film Festival coming to Nevada City, CA this January. The film festival will be making its first stop in the secluded Sierra Nevada Foothills town for a 4 day run starting on the 14th of August and running until 18th.
Hillary Clinton seen here practicing with a large, orange bag of vomit.

Hillary’s Debate Sparring Partner an Orange Bag Of Vomit

The Hillary Rodham Clinton presidential campaign gave reporters a little insight into how their candidate prepared for tonight's highly-anticipated presidential debate between Clinton and Donald Trump.

Activist Proposes Breaking California into 37,253,956 Individual States

Local activists, in an attempt to quench Sacramento's unending desire to control water policy in the Sierra Foothills and beyond have announced that they are starting an initiative process to break California into 37,253,956 separate, sovereign States.

Local Farmer/Band Leader Chooses FedEx for All His Shipping Needs

Local business man, band leader and seasonal farmer Moonash knows how to choose a shipping provider for all his cross-state shipping needs.
The One Billion Strong With Trump Facebook group is virtually empty.

“One Billion Strong With Trump” Facebook Group Struggles With Only 13,000 Members

The One Billion Strong With Donald Trump Facebook Group currently has 13,000 members and is no where near the promised 1 billion in its title.

Brian Williams: I Was At Ben Carson’s 1997 Stabbing

Brian Williams admitted to a small press conference that he was at the 1997 stabbing event of Presidential hopeful Ben Carson. The stabbing event, which apparently occurred in Mr. Williams' mind, happened when the soft-spoken neurosurgeon was at a Christian event speaking about Old Testament history.
Wayne Kerr, 22, of Marinette, WI, first learned of his diagnosis on April 1st of this year.

Terminally Ill Man Makes Desperate Plea for Nudes

A Wisconsin native has issued a desperate plea for nudes after being diagnosed with Nanocephalic Aesthetic Receptor Daguerreotype Syndrome (NARDS), an extremely rare disease that affects the brain.
Flying Spaghetti Monster captured over Interstate 80 in Nevada County.

Cthulhu Spotted Over Nevada County

Cthulhu appeared in the skies over Interstate 80 late yesterday. There is no word from the octopus/dragon-like entity if it has any plans for the people of Earth, however its appearance probably means all humanity is about to end.

Tom Cruise Leaves Scientology

Tom Cruise announced yesterday that he was leaving the Church of Scientology to avoid hefty tax penalties after the the church recently lost its tax-exempt status.
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