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Donald Trump has nominated controversial conspiracy theorist Alex Jones for Press Secretary

Alex Jones Offered White House Press Secretary Position

In what is a surprise and controversial development for some, and a welcomed addition to others, President Donald Trump has nominated alt-right conspiracy theorist Alex Jones for White House Press Secretary, replacing Sarah Huckabee Sanders.
Michael Dail of Kansas City is glad someone gave him a hand. Seen here at his local Ford dealer following the accident.

One-Armed Man Applauds the Kindness of Strangers

Michael Dail of Kansas City is glad someone gave him a hand. Seen here at his local Ford dealer following the accident.

Report: Isis Expected To Lose Popularity As Baby Name

Statisticians from the Department of Health released a new study concluding there is a 95% probability that the incidence of the female name "Isis" will probably decrease in the United States. Isis had recently become a fairly popular girls name over the last 3 decades, but it probably won't be for much longer.

7 Last-Minute Gift Ideas for the Cult Member In Your Life

Well, as Christmas fast-approached, we here at Gish Gallop know what it feels like to run out of ideas. In fact, we ran out of good ideas over 7 years ago and have resorted to stealing them from other publications. None the less, we wanted to give you some great book gift ideas that your trapped friend or family member will appreciate.
A loose coalition of Nebraska Angus cattle have formed am "AntiFarm" movement in hopes of challenging area Ranchers.

Cattle Form Controversial ‘AntiFarm Action’ To Protest Area Ranchers

Cattle in Nebraska have formed a coalition against being bred and slaughtered for food. They call themselves Antifarm and are backed by PETA and funded by the George Soros Foundation, which has recently received a mysterious $18 billion cash infusion.
Hugh Hefner Dead at 91

Gish Gallop Salutes Our Heroes: Hugh Hefner Dead at 91

Hugh Hefner who was the founder of Playboy enterprises and hosted the popular "California's Gold" for 18 seasons died after a battle with prostate cancer this according to his official death certificate. Hefner was 91.
From a secret Kenyan hideout or his favorite vacation spot in his home state of Hawaii, former President Obama deployed several Jade Helm squads to aid in hurricane relief.

Obama Deploys Jade Helm Unit for Texas Cleanup and Rescue Operations

Deep within a bunker miles below the surface of the Earth, former President Barack Hussein Obama has been closely monitoring the devastation and impact of Hurricane Harvey on the American Gulf Coast.
A Typical American Junk Drawer Filled with Typical American Crap.

Junk Drawer Won’t Open Despite Repeated & Forceful Attempts

Local resident and average guy Chip Day failed to open a "Junk Drawer" in his Morgan Ranch home despite repeated and forceful attempts to do so.
A prototype model of the Flat Earth Society's "Flat Earth Beach Ball."

Flat Earth Society Releases Flat Earth Beach Ball

The North Carolina chapter of the Flat Earth Society just released what it believes will be the blockbuster water toy of the summer: The Flat Earth Beach Ball.
President Trump made an attempt to model "good forest maintenance" by raking leaves on the White House lawn.

Donald Trump Models Wildfire Prevention by Raking White House Lawn

President Trump made an attempt to model "good forest maintenance" by raking leaves on the White House lawn.

Area Man Uses Tub Hair to Create Roommate Friendship Bracelets

Area Millennial Scott Foresight has grown tired of his sloppy and inconsiderate roommates, so he decided to take matters into his own hands. On Thursday, after removing his two roommates body hair from the shower drain, Mr. Foresight created "Friendship" bracelets for them.
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