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Trump Switches Up Campaign Song to ‘The Final Countdown’ [VIDEO]

In a surprise announcement, the Donald Trump presidential campaign announced yesterday that it would be switching its official campaign song from Twisted Sister's anthem "We're Not Going to Take It" to continental glam-rock band Europe's "The Final Countdown."

Mylie Cyrus’ Nuptials Are Showing

In an impromptu news conference today, Mylie Cyrus announced plans for her upcoming nuptials. Clad in a loose knit doily that left nothing to the imagination and a worse than Beiber haircut, she prattled her news like a meth queen.
Fappy the Dolphin moments before he was raped by Fox News lawyers.

Fox News Lawyers Rape Dolphin in Arizona Court

A favorite mascot for childhood morality was gang-raped by a team of Fox News lawyers on Thursday, setting off what insiders are calling "a wave of sadness."
Jenny McCarthy seen here in a recent anti-vaccine event.

Jenny McCarthy To Promote Autism Awareness By Sleeping With 920 Men In One Day

Today McCarthy announced that she will have sex with 920 men in one day to take the world record for most sexual partners in one day. She plans to use the publicity to bring awareness to autism.
April Smith having a hard day at Staples

Stapler Fails Staples Checkout Clerk

A stapler failed to staple at the Grass Valley Staples on Friday when checker April Smith attempted to staple multiple receipts to a customer's order.
A Texas start-up's innovative "spider" air filters has become a a nuance for hundreds of American homes.

Start-Up Facing Backlash over Patented Spider Air Filters

Texas start-up Breathe-Clean has come under fire for it's SpiderEasy of hypoallergenic air-filters which feature live genetically modified arachnids who, in the words of company spokes person Bethany Millbright "eat the particles that humans can't see."

A Guest Opinion from the Union of Grass Valley: Walking the Razor’s Edge

It's hard running a newspaper these days. Liberals are so sensitive and hard to please, and conservatives want you to burn all the political correctness down to the ground.
Former White Stripes drummer Meg White to replace Rush's ailing Neil Peart on drums for their upcoming tour.

White Stripes Drummer Meg White To Replace Rush’s Neil Peart

Former White Stripes drummer Meg White to replace Rush's recently passed Neil Peart on drums for their upcoming tour.
Green Party candidate Jill Stein thinks she would have a Russian foreign policy breakthrough by using Homeopathy.

Jill Stein: Homeopathy ‘Key Ingredient’ in Healing Russia Relations

At a recent rally, former Green Party Presidential Candidate Jill Stein announced to a crowd of almost 32 people in Asheville, North Carolina that she thinks homeopathy would be a key ingredient in her Russian foreign policy.
The esteemed CNN broadcaster is hiding a secret.

Wolf Blitzer Diagnosed With Dementia

For the last few years there have been murmurings around CNN that something just wasn’t right with Wolf. Now the cat is out of the bag and Wolf is chasing it around the parking lot.

4 Killed, Several Wounded at Duran Duran Concert

In what's being described as a "tragic scene" during a stirring rendition of the "Reflex," several thousand small girls rushed the stage during a live Duran Duran performance at the Pshaw Millennium Park.
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