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Merriam-Webster To Add Picture of Donald Trump To Definition of ‘Anus’

SPRINGFIELD, MASSACHUSETTS -- In a response to what they are calling a "tremendous onslaught of requests" from customers, Merriam-Webster has decided to add a picture of Republican...
The proposed flag for the Great Republic of Penn Valley.

Penn Valley, CA Postpones Secession For Another Year

For the 14th consecutive year, the ardent conservative enclave of Penn Valley, CA has decided not to pursue secession from the United States.
Several liberal groups are pushing for increased education to combat President Trump.

Liberals Pushing Education to Undermine Trump

Several liberal groups are pushing for increased education to combat President Trump.
Donald Trump: "is there any way Vladimir Putin could 'pinch president' for him."

Donald Trump Floats Putin As “Pinch-President”

RNC Chair Ronna Romney McDaniel told reporters about the email this morning, and she said that the email has left her "in quite a bind."
Nothing expresses xenophobia more precisely than a Facebook rant about bad drivers.

Locals and Flatlanders Face Off in a Competition for Shittiest Drivers

In another terse “locals” against “transplants” debate, the Nevada County Facebook community pages have been heating up over which faction is doing all of the shitty driving in the area, and now the online fracas has spilled into the streets.

Active Shooter ‘Lazy around the House’ According to Wife

The Charlotte County man who rampaged through a so-called 'Gun Free Zone' Monday morning has been described by his wife as "lazy" and very "non-active" around the home.

Online News Source Posts Article With Nothing But Headlines

Ellen and Portia's Holiday Card Pays Homage To Inspiring and Iconic Women From The Bed-Stuy Veterans at BEAT Festival Man Awakens After 12 Years In Prison for Book:...

Keith Richards Found Not Dead in San Francisco Hotel

Emergency personnel were summoned to the posh Bourges Hotel in San Francisco's Fisherman's Wharf District this morning. In an official briefing at 10 am, Pacific time, in the Bourges convention hall, Ms. D’lune spoke through tears to the media.
Aerial view of Nevada's first "tent city" for refugees.

Nevada Prepares for Influx of State of Jefferson Refugees

Officials from the State of Nevada are reporting a new alarming trend, a mass migration to Nevada of residents escaping from the rural California states that are targeted to become the new State of Jefferson.
The Courtesy Bucket from the Famous Lobster Buffet at the Boomtown Casino and "Resort"

Gish Gallop Review: Boomtown Famous Lobster Buffet

Like all buffets in casinos, there is a great deal of fanfare before one reaches the restaurant, which is typically buried in a obscure location within the bowels of the building. I have to admit, I was excited seeing all of the billboards on my approach.

Nevada City Autistic Boy Tells the Truth

13 year old high-functioning Autistic boy Reiko Paine has a knack for telling you "like it is." A straight-shooter, Reiko will tell you exactly what's on his mind.
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