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Star Wars Non-Spoiler: The Naked Truth

What you are about to read should not be considered a spoiler so much as a warning. Gish Gallop was able, through some of Gish Gallop President Lou LaPlante's shady connections, to secure an early screening of the much-anticipated film Star Wars: The Force Awakens directed by J. 'Jay' Abrams.
NASCAR announced that it will allow drivers to use service animals during races.

NASCAR Drivers Allowed To Use Service Animals

The National Association for Stock Car Auto Racing or NASCAR announced early this week that it plans to allow service animals in select races in 2018 and on every race by 2020.
Chick-fil-A under new Saudi ownership

Chick-fil-A Stock Soars Under New Saudi Ownership

Analysts claim that the Saudi's are "a perfect fit" as the new owners of Chick-fil-A.
Warren Grant is frustrated that his energy-saving retro Easy Back Oven is not working properly.

Easy Bake Oven Thwarted by LED Light Bulb

Warren Grant of Nevada City became agitated on Wednesday when his daughter's Christmas Gift, a "retro" Kenner Easy Bake Oven, failed to cook the small-batch cake mix.
Terry Adkinson isn't sure where Brussels is, but he knows Donald Trump will fix whatever is wrong with it.

Area Man Not Sure Where Brussels Is

As the world is trying to understand the recent terror attacks in Europe, an area man admitted to his waiter in the Asian Gardens Chinese Restaurant that he has no idea where Brussels is. Terry Adkinson, 62, holds strident opinions on world affairs and is a proud Donald Trump supporter.
Nevada City with Muslim Holidays

Nevada City Schools to Observe Muslim Holidays

Following the lead of the New York City school system, the nation's largest, the upstart Sierra Nevada foothills community of Nevada City announced that its schools will observe the two most important Muslim holidays next school year.

Radical Islamists and Feminists Vying For Domination, Warns Incel Community

An Illinois men's rights group warns of an upcoming "civil war" between competing factions.
Maeve Zephyr Crow and her partner Floura Klia Purae Omallia demonstrating an anti-vaccine ritual at the Columbia Schoolhouse

Area Wicca Practitioners Replace Vaccines with Witchcraft

In what some are hailing as a breakthrough in the movement, local anti-vaccine activists and Wicca practitioners have teamed up to prevent childhood vaccinations and treat Autism with Witchcraft.
A group of archaeologists from Brigham Young and Southern Methodist University have discovered what appears to be an ancient petroglyph.

Researchers Discover Ancient Petroglyph in California Lake

A group of archaeologists from Brigham Young and Southern Methodist University have discovered what appears to be an ancient petroglyph at the bottom of Scotts Flat Lake just outside of Nevada City, California.
Sairhra Ramun of Nevada City says scaring people without evidence is part of waking up "the sheeple."

Area Conspiracy Theorist Enjoys Scaring People

Local community activist Sairhra Ramun of Nevada City admitted in a Facebook post that she's just in it to "scare the shit out of people because it makes me feel better. Like I'm making a difference."

Area Woman Survives Stock Market Crash By Living Paycheck to Paycheck

It's hard to be impacted by the stock market if you're broke.
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