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4 Ways the Homeless Are Taking Your Jobs

While jobs are on a ridiculously steady incline, due to Trump's threats against Puerto Rico, the homeless have been taking your jobs and votes, all the while teaching illegal aliens to do the same.

Persistent Volunteer Kills Town’s Can-Do Spirit

A local woman's chronic volunteerism is being blamed by townsfolk for robbing them of their initiative and dulling their once notable can-do spirit.

Pat Robertson Blames Burning Man For Hurricanes

Many of Robertson's loyal supporters have come to his defense, including Laura Swanson, she said, "those people have a one way ticket to hell with all of their fornicating and drug use."
Donald and Melania Trump are divorcing.

Donald and Melania Trump To Divorce

Donald Trump, the brash entrepreneur who is running for President in the 2016 election, is filing for divorce from wife Melania. Melania, a model and designer, has been married to Donald since 2005. She is Donald's third wife.
President Obama seen here shooting his "gay agenda" into "Red States"

Obama Can Now Shoot his “Gay Agenda” with Rainbows, Conservatives Claim

According to American Conservatives, a recent photo distributed by the White House proves that President Obama has terrifying magical powers to make, in their words, "the Gay Agenda more real than it ever has been."

Study: Red Meat Consumption Unrelated to Manliness

scientists have concluded there is no discernible correlation between the amount of red meat consumed and the raw masculinity of the men consuming it.
Joey Gibson, leader of the alt-right Patriot Prayer group says he's afraid of gay DJs.

San Francisco Alt-Right Protest Canceled Due to Fears over Gay Activist DJs

 The leader of a right-wing group that had planned a Saturday rally at Crissy Field in San Francisco said Friday he had decided to call off the event due to fears of what organizers called "militant gay DJs."

Thomas Pynchon spotted in Lake of the Pines

Lake of the Pines, CA -- Recluse author Thomas Pynchon was spotted lounging on the shores of Lake of the Pines California presumably at his lake-side home....

Warner Bros. Toons Protest Open Carry Rule

Warner Bros® Looney Toon™ characters are protesting a controversial open carry rule. This rule would allow for open carry of anvils and other Acme® weapons. Protest spokesperson, Daffy Duck granted an interview to Gish Gallop.

Father Teaches Son “Life Lesson” with Large, Unwieldy Plastic Bin

Area father Craig Thomas of Grass Valley decided to teach his 15 year old teenage son a "life lesson" by making him carry a large, unwieldy plastic bin filled with school supplies though a local Staples office supply store.
The three tenors were all over the place. Singing from three different books

Lack of Harmony Hurting GOP’s Three Tenors

An eminent PhD has concluded that the Republican party lacks proper harmony and has horrific timing. Mr. Webb has studied rhythm and taught harmony for over 47 years after getting his masters at BYU and completing his doctorate at Juilliard.
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