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Area Rabbit "Vampire" says she can't stand the 1980s New Wave band Duran Duran.

Area Rabbit Unimpressed by 1980s-era New Wave Music

An area rabbit has become extremely bored after listening to 44 year old Jamie Andrews entire Duran Duran music collection. His Rabbit "Vampire" has be Mr. Andrews' companion for over 2 years and up until this point, considered herself a "music eclectic."

Zika Virus/Diarrhea Ravages Olympic Village

The 2016 Olympics are beginning in Rio, where an outbreak of the Zika virus is taking hold in Olympic Village. The virus has taken a toll. Nearly 2,000 of the 10,000 athletes are showing symptoms of the Zika Virus.
Merrilee Longshoes of North San Juan, CA believes she can cure Autism with coconut oil.

Area Woman Treats Autism with Coconut Oil

Merrilee Longshoes is concerned about her family’s health. And the health of those in the greater community. Recently she discovered the homeopathic healing qualities of coconut oil after reading several Facebook posts and a few alternative health web articles about the popular tropical oil.
A new White House leak reveals the contents of Vice President Pence's iPod.

Village People/Stryper Found on Mike Pence’s iPod

Yesterday on page A-12 of the Washington Post noted the contents of Vice President Mike Pence's iPod. The iPod leak, which is now being called iPodGate, came from a White House insider apparently in retaliation for the recent and hasty mass-firings of up to 45 Justice Department officials.

NRA to Open Virginia “Gun Land” Amusement Park for Kids

The National Rifle Association announced plans this week to build a new, gun-themed amusement park aimed at kids called "Gun Land."

UN Study: Your Dog Eats Better than 2 Billion People

Rundex Family Foundation has published a report which finds the majority of American pets eat better and have better healthcare than over 2 billion of Earth's inhabitants.
A 2-year study by the Rundex Family Foundation found that truck drivers should take caution when listening to Coast to Coast AM.

Study: Coast 2 Coast AM Listeners Fall Asleep In The First Hour

The popular late-night paranormal/conspiracy radio show Coast To Coast A.M (C2CAM) has been the subject of an FCC-sponsored study by the Palo Alto-based Rundex Family Foundation.
1 hour after being assimilated by the Borg, the entire collective exploded into oblivion, Federation officials told Gish Gallop.

Borg Accidentally Assimilate Charlie Sheen

Cheers rang out across the Federation yesterday as officials announced that the Borg had accidentally assimilated American actor Charlie Sheen into the collective.

Monsanto Developing GMO Cannabis Seeds

The Monsanto Company announced this week that it plans on developing and eventually selling genetically modified cannabis seeds. The move, which was widely expected by industry insiders, comes at a time when many States are considering legalizing the controversial plant.
Jake Mooney of Portland, Oregon found himself in the Emergency Room this past week after asking his now former girlfriend to make him a sandwich.

Portland Man Sent to ER After Asking for Sandwich

Jake Mooney of Portland, Oregon found himself in the Emergency Room this past week after asking his now former girlfriend to make him a sandwich.
Sean Hannity has purchased a special piece of President Trump

Sean Hannity Invests in Trump Real Estate

Fox News host Sean Hannity has reportedly purchased over 2-inches of prime real estate owned by Donald Trump, snatching up a cozy, undeveloped property.
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