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Shelly Wagner seen here "researching" scabies and ebola

Local Woman Uses Internet to Self-diagnose Gluten Disease

After spending over 12 hours "researching" ailments on the Internet, Shelly Wagner of Grass Valley, CA has determined that she has Celiac Disease. As the mother of two children, she has been feeling low on energy recently. So she took to the Internet to figure out what's wrong with her.
Warren Grant is frustrated that his energy-saving retro Easy Back Oven is not working properly.

Easy Bake Oven Thwarted by LED Light Bulb

Warren Grant of Nevada City became agitated on Wednesday when his daughter's Christmas Gift, a "retro" Kenner Easy Bake Oven, failed to cook the small-batch cake mix.
Before boarding Air Force One today, President Trump called California's strict smog-check rules unconstitutional.

Trump Rules California SMOG Checks Unconstitutional

Before boarding Air Force One today, President Trump called California's strict smog-check rules unconstitutional.

Ozzy Osbourne Only Slightly Killed by a Crazy Train Wreck

British rocker Ozzy Osbourne was run over by a train yesterday afternoon in Birmingham. The train was reported to have been acting a little crazy, as eyewitnesses reported that it seemed to be steering directly toward a distracted Osbourne.

Naughty Brawl Spoils Christmas Toy Bike Run

The 24th annual Nevada County Food & Toy Run was a little more memorable than expected this year for some unlucky participants. Dozens of motorcycle riders never left the Eric Rood Administrative Center staging area in Nevada City due to a vicious brawl between rival bike club members.
Students for Social Action and Justice or the SSAJ announced that all Libertarians should be thrown in jail.

Portland Socialists Suggest Imprisoning Libertarians ‘Just for Fun’

Portland, Oregon's Students for Social Action and Justice or the SSAJ announced that all Libertarians should be thrown in jail.
Pat Robertson believes that his vitality is due to his daily consumption of liberal baby blood.

Pat Robertson Attributes Long Life to the Blood of “Sweet, Sweet Liberal Babies”

The controversial and unexpected comments where made during an interview on the Glenn Beck-un website The Blaze, which was celebrating the 38th Anniversary of The 700 Club.

NRA to Open Virginia “Gun Land” Amusement Park for Kids

The National Rifle Association announced plans this week to build a new, gun-themed amusement park aimed at kids called "Gun Land."

Local Man Accidentally Hits Share Button on Adult Web Site

A local 32 year old Grass Valley man has accidentally hit a "share" button on the popular pornography site "assablanca.com."

Donald Trump Vows to Make Hazzard County Great Again

Donald J. Trump grew up idolizing Hogg for all his achievements in the business world. After a recent rally in Atlanta, Mr. Trump took a detour to visit his old friend in Hazzard County.

Local Green Party Member Sneaks Through McDonald’s Drive Thru

Sources close to the incident tell Gish Gallop that his two children Sky and Tyler were misbehaving in the back seat of the family's 2010 Toyota Prius Electric Conversion. The family had just returned from a 3 day visit with the Mr. Packard's Republican in-laws in Fresno, so his defenses were understandably low.
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