Officials from the National Security Agency (NSA), Central Intelligence Agency (CIA), and Department of Defense (DoD) have admitted that their efforts to identify a moderate Republican to aid have yet to bear fruit.
North San Juan resident, part-time chemtrail researcher and amateur ionizing radiation hobbyist Skyy Wolford announced to a somewhat disinterested crowd out in front of the Sierra Super Stop that the Australian resort city of Gold Coast is an elaborate hoax and does not exist.
Recent South Carolina transplant and former California contractor Frank S. Arce, III said he's "had it with his smart-ass friends and is finally going to do something about it."
New York City's Amanda Hyman, a self-proclaimed, non-binary Social Justice Warrior, is upset by the lack of actual transgender people in the Trans-Siberian Orchestra. She wants them to take 'Trans' out of their name.
French Existentialists Jean-Paul Sartre and Simone de Beauvoir where removed from an area Ross Dress for Less clothing store when Mr. Sartre ignored numerous requests to stop smoking.
Traveling meat salesman Paul Sieben got a negative earful on Wednesday when he unsuccessfully went door-to-door attempting to get the residents of Rhode Island Street to buy his meat products. Mr. Sieben, who works for the Consolidated Meat Distributors, LLC has been selling meat out of the back of his Ford Taurus for over 12 years and recently decided to try the Nevada County territory.
This morning, as temporary President Donald Trump was leaving the White House to go and pick up some beef jerky, coffee, doughnuts, hot dogs, ice cream, deep fried Oreos, and McDonaldâ€™s for himself for breakfast.
This morning, through Twitter, Donald Trump spilled the beans, as promised, about his opponent, Lyinâ€™ Ted Cruzâ€™ wife, Heidi. In a Skype interview with Donald Trump this morning, Gish Gallop was able to get some clarification in this new aspect of the Trump, Cruz feud.