Oceanside, CA — Tragedy struck earlier this week when a man took his own life in a local bar. Oceanside, California’s Fremont Bar and Grill was having it’s Saturday karaoke with its usual mix of locals and Japanese tourists. Details are slim, but apparently the local man killed himself by stringing a rope to the bar’s rafters as a Japanese sang the popular 1980s Madonna hit “Holiday.”
Witnesses describe the man as losing his mind after hearing 6 Madonna songs in a row being sang by the various tourists from Tokyo visiting the sun-swept town on California’s coast. They say the man first attempted grabbed a straw and shoved it through his nose, however that failed. After several other suicide missteps, including banging his iPhone repeatedly into his head, he finally succeeded by hanging himself from the bar’s 130 year old rafters.
Witness Naomi Willis spoke to Gish Gallop about the suicide.
“He just couldn’t deal, he kept downing shots every time one of the tourists went up to sing”, said Naomi. “After the 6th song he just screamed and shoved the straw up his nose. But then he didn’t stop and neither did the Japanese tourists. when he finally hung himself, I thought it was part of the show.”
The victim, 36-year-old Tim Savini of Oceanside, was described by his friends as being kind of temperamental.
“He once threw a half chewed cashew at me for singing the Nationwide Insurance jingle”, said Ren Hoek, a friend of Savini’s.
The bartender Kim Slone, who is also a progressive liberal activist, is now pushing for the California to regulate straws small enough to fit inside a nostril. She has begun contacting local state officials and is pushing the media to get involved.
“If just one person can be saved by larger straws, then this will be worth it”, said Slone. “Not sure what to do about the ropes. But baby steps. I mean, how can I be held responsible for my rafters? Fremont’s is a California designated historical site. Those rafters have always been there. We already have a ‘please don’t hang yourself here’ sign over the bar. I’ve already removed all the straws.”
It is unknown if the Japanese tourist will be charged with inciting a suicide.