Alice Cooper Rejoins Mormon Church

Veteran rocker Alice Cooper has re-joined the Mormon church.
Veteran rocker Alice Cooper has re-joined the Mormon church.

Phoenix, AZ — 70’s shock rocker, Alice Cooper, after decades of hard rocking, drinking, drugging and hard living, made a startling announcement today as he left a local Mormon church after the service concluded.

“I have been living a hard life on a fast track,” Cooper began. “Time, and better sense have finally caught up with me and I needed to make some changes for my own sanity and for those around me. My life had spun out of control. The drugs and alcohol could no longer quell the voices in my head. I was lost in a lonely darkness where I was too weak to reach out, and too afraid to take my own life.”

The crowd of reporters outside the church was hushed by Cooper’s blunt honesty.

“I had nowhere to turn. But somewhere in that darkness, I could hear a loving voice calling my name,” a tear rolled down the legend’s cheek. “It was the voice of the prophet calling me home. I turned my life over to the prophet at that moment and called the missionaries to bring me home. I have been happy, joyous, and free ever since,” Cooper related with a huge smile.

I was able to ask Cooper if he regretted leaving the faith, and why he left in the first place.

“No,” Cooper chuckled, “I don’t regret leaving the faith. I’m pretty sure I had some good times out there on the road, at least the few pieces I can remember.” The reporters in attendance laughed. The parishioners did not. “As far as why I left, it never felt right to me back then. Plus, the fist fight with Paul Brunneman in the middle of a meeting when we were twelve didn’t endear me to the members any,” tittered Cooper, shooting us a wink as he turned to walk away.

“Is this the end of your legendary music career?” A local reporter shouted after him.

“I can’t say, but it is the end of my nightmare,” Cooper called back. “I’m 68, and I like it!”

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i think this is a parody but in coopers book he stated he was raised in a baptist church and goes to a independent church now.

w w w . e q u i p . o r g
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i think this is a parody but in coopers book he stated he was raised in a baptist church and goes to a independent church now.