Amazon Makes Bid To Buy Pornhub.com

Founder and CEO of Amazon.com Jeff Bezos announced plans to purchase the popular porn site Pornhub.com.
Founder and CEO of Amazon.com Jeff Bezos announced plans to purchase the popular porn site Pornhub.com.

Seattle, WA — Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos has been making moves to expand his empire today. This week, Amazon announced it’s $13.7 billion dollar bid for retailer Whole Foods. But in a surprise move that caught investors completely off guard, Amazon announced a $3.4 billion dollar bid to buy online adult content provider Pornhub.com.

Pornhub, the number one adult video site in the world, has managed to pull itself up and separate itself from all of the other “porn tubes”. It’s use of targeted adult ads has added a steady revenue stream that has earned the owner Mindgeek a healthy profit.

Jeff Bezos spoke with Gish Gallop during a press conference at Amazon HQ.

“Who wouldn’t want Pornhub, they had over 78 billion views last year”, said Bezos. “Our thought process is clear, I want every guy about to choke his chicken to see an ad for a Fleshlight from Amazon. I want Amazon associated with erections. And we are really excited about adding Pornhub’s content to our Prime Instant Video offering. Content is king, and porn is the Internet’s number one form of content.”

Mr. Bezos does have a valid point, sex sells. The online porn industry earned over $1 billion dollars last year. It will be a valuable addition to any portfolio. Pornhub user “Geno”, spoke to Gish Gallop about the potential Amazon takeover.

“I think it is great, I spend at least 6 hours a day jerk…I mean online surfing, this will really free up time for me,” said “Geno”. “I can browse cookware while watching a hot girl hula-hoop while getting nailed, whats not to love?”

The sale has yet to be confirmed, it is only an offer at this point. We will report more as the story unfolds.

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