America — America’s media outlets have been unrelenting in their war on Christianity for the 6th straight day with their almost 24 hour coverage of Pope Francis’ visit. The hatred, which runs deep, is most evident in the 24 hour news channel broadcasts where cable channel executives are intent on destroying the last vestiges of the over 2000 year old religion.
“Whoa, I mean, just whoa,” said 58-year-old Penn Valley, CA resident Tricia J. Naranjo. “I mean look at how much CNN hates God and Jesus with their constant coverage of ‘Popama.’ I’m willing to bet Pope Francis is a Muslim too. I mean what’s with that accent? Doesn’t he know he’s in America?”
Conservative, mostly Christian Protestants have maintained for years that the ‘Liberal media’ has been targeting and denigrating core teachings of Jesus Christ at the sake promoting a Secular Humanist agenda that includes on-demand home abortions in the 29th week of pregnancy, homosexual marriages performed in public schools, and lastly an insistence that Oprah Winfrey run for President. The recent almost non-stop coverage of Pope Francis celebration of America’s contribution to the Christian Faith is further proof for the nation’s left-of-the-bell-curve thinkers that the mainstream media is out to intern Conservative Christians into FEMA camps for re-education.
“I mean, just look at how they fawn over this Pope creature,” continued a mood-elevated Ms. Naranjo. “What about the real Christians who believe in Capitalism and less government and stuff like that. Clearly MSNBC and their ilk are using his visit to convince the sheeple that only a one-world government run by an anti-Christ like Francis is inevitable. Well, we’re not gonna take that.”
The “Obamification” of Pope Francis includes charges from conservative critics that he’s either a socialist, the Antichrist, an illegitimately elected leader who wants to create a “New World Order” — or all of the above. Their anxiety was captured by the headline of one online column: “Pope Francis is the Catholic Church’s Obama — God help us.” And this is further demonstrated by what they call Obama’s media lap-dogs and his Muslim upbringing.
As for the Pope’s American itinerary, which comes to an end on Sunday, will effectively end the media’s war on Christianity and return its attention to more pressing stories like men who accidentally shoot themselves in the penis and the occasional citizen who sets fire to a gas station to kill a spider.