Anti-Monsanto Activists Create Roundup Resistant Weeds

A group of biology students from the University of Oregon have created Roundup resistant weeds.
A group of biology students from the University of Oregon have created Roundup resistant weeds.

Eugene, OR — A group of environmental activists based out of Eugene, Oregon announced via Twitter that they have developed several species of weeds that are resistant to Monsanto’s popular herbicide Roundup. The anonymous group of University of Oregon biology students, who call themselves the Plant Liberation Front (PLF) plan on randomly introducing these weeds are “strategic locations” around the United States to, in their words, “beat Monsanto at their own game.”

“We at the PLF are taking our planet back from the corporations and their government cronies,” said the PLF in its early morning Tweet. “We have engineered a series of plants that are immune to Roundup, and grow very quickly. Expect them soon.”

According to experts, it seems the PLF be trying to disrupt Monsanto’s chief market offering by rendering its effects useless against pests which Roundup attacks. Monsanto produces a wide-variety of genetically modified (GM) plants called “Roundup Ready,” which means they can be sprayed by the controversial herbicide and not be harmed, but weeds and other plant pests are killed. If the PLF succeeds, this could effectively eliminate Monsanto’s dominance in both the herbicide, and more importantly, the genetically modified organism market could come crashing down.

“Obviously this must be a huge concern for Monsanto,” said Professor James Badwater of the University of Chicago’s Badwater Institute of Public Policy, “because if this effort succeeds, they’re toast. And it could have some grave impacts on crop yields all over the world.”

Plant GMOs are regulated by the US Department of Agriculture’s Animal and Plant Health Inspection Service under the Plant Protection Act. However the PLA is doing this operation “under the radar” which means the organization is breaking the law. However the Trump administration is raising the prospect of charging these individuals with domestic terrorism.

“These criminals are not only in violation of several local, state and federal laws, they may be charged with acts of terrorism much like other radical groups have been in the past like ALF [Animal Liberation Front] and others,” said United States Assistant Deputy Attorney General Jason Oswald. “The United States takes threats to our way of life very seriously. There could also be civil charges brought against these activists by Monsanto. We are currently investigating all leads and the FBI is on the case.”

As for the PLF, they are concentrating on focused on “disrupting agribusiness’ hold on our food supplies.”

“We won’t stop until agribusiness stops dominating our plant life. We are simply taking the same practices that Monsanto uses, and using it against them. It’s clear that protests and marches aren’t doing anything to stop their advances in controlling our food.”

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Ddant
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Ddant

This will just lead to the use of more and more pesticides by farmers to control these weeds if released by these idiots. If that is their goal, then congratulations. How this would hurt the companies producing these pesticides is beyond me.

Inti
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Inti

1 – It’s satire.

2 – But it would actually make sense; the patent for first generation Roundup Ready crops has expired, so anyone can use it. Same for the patent for glyphosate: any glyphosate-based herbicide other than Roundup would do. So in the end, no money would go to Monsanto.

3 – And you know what? It’s actually happening in real life: https://www.technologyreview.com/s/539746/as-patents-expire-farmers-plant-generic-gmos/