Area BMW Driver: “So What If I Drive Like an Asshole? F*ck You.”

Don Victors seen here in a recent selfie in Southern, CA.
Don Victors seen here in a recent selfie in Southern, CA.

Nevada City, CA — Area BMW driver and asshole Don Victors doesn’t care what people think of his driving. Mr. Victors, a former Director of Marketing at Adobe Systems and now a “budget web hosting” entrepreneur drives like he’s the only person on Earth.

“So what if I drive like an asshole? Fuck you,” chortled Mr. Victors in a Gish Gallop interview. “I’ve earned the right to drive however I want. Hell, I’ll even drive into oncoming traffic to get around these asshole minivan drivers here in Nevada County. Why? Because I can.”

Mr. Victors owns two BMWs. A BMW 750 series that he likes to terrorize local drivers with, and a BWM X5 series he bought for his nanny-turned-wife back in 2013. He’s been seen around town driving recklessly without regard for other cars, pedestrians or even basic traffic laws.

“I was turning into Safeway on Brunswick,” said minivan driver Mindy Alters, “when all of a sudden this asshole cut in front of me from the other lane to go into the parking lot. I laid on my horn and he just flipped me off.”

As for Mr. Victors, he has no plans on changing his driving habits.

“You know what they say, don’t you?” asked a snarky Mr. Victors. “Turn signals are for other people. BMW drivers only have one signal. [Mr. Victors holds up his middle finger]. Just like that. It fixes everything. And punching the throttle. That helps. Just wait until I get my son his own BMW. He’ll take after his Dad, for sure.”

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