Area Man Outraged By “Obama Phones” Given Out To Welfare Recipients

Recent Vacaville Transplant Tommy Empire.
Recent Vacaville Transplant Tommy Empire.

Grass Valley, CA Recent Vacaville, CA transplant and manager of the local branch of High Sierra Nevadas Plumbing Supply Tommy Empire has admitted to informing his customers that President Barack Obama was giving away “tons of free cell phones” to welfare recipients.

“All these uneducated and lazy poor people want free stuff and they voted in Obama for just that reason,” said Mr. Empire at the counter of his popular wholesale plumbing supply company. “And now they use their phones to record the police while they are trying to protect and serve.” Mr. Empire mentioned that he gets multiple emails from his business associates about all the insidious ways President Obama is ruining our country.

According to FactCheck.Org, the Obama administration did not start a program to use taxpayer money to give free cell phones to welfare recipients. In fact, low-income households have been eligible for discounted telephone service for more than a decade under the SafeLink program. SafeLink is funded by telecom companies, not by taxes, and the President has nothing to do with it. The President has no direct impact on the program, and one could hardly call these devices “Obama Phones,” as they are often referred to in emails shared between “Conspiritards.”

"Free" Cell Phones ?
“Free” Cell Phones ?

SafeLink started under President George Bush, with grants from an independent company created under President Bill Clinton, which was a legacy of an act passed under President Franklin Roosevelt, which was influenced by an agreement reached between telecommunications companies and the administration of President Woodrow Wilson.

When Nevada City plumber Peter Whitman shared the history of the SafeLink program to those within earshot, Mr. Empire smirked briefly and walked away into his office to check on his email and book his next golf outing.

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Horace Georgeman
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Tommy Empire of Cedar Ridge felt the entire project was a bad idea. “There is a reason why there are no blacks here”, he said. “This will upset the delicate social fabric of our little community. I don’t know what this country is coming to. Time to hold a Constitutional Convention.”

Horace Georgeman
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Tommy Empire of Cedar Ridge felt the entire project was a bad idea. “There is a reason why there are no blacks here”, he said. “This will upset the delicate social fabric of our little community. I don’t know what this country is coming to. Time to hold a Constitutional Convention.”