Beale Air Force Base, CA — Area pilot, cloud seeder and geoengineering hopeful Barry Kenner of Marysville, CA is hoping that this year’s round of promotions will include one for him to Chemtrail disbursements. The former Navy Pilot and current cloud seeding captain of an Evergreen 747 based out of Beale Air Force base, has been eyeing the coveted Chemtrail Captain position ever since he joined Evergreen’s geoengineering fleet back in 2006.

“When I got out of the Navy,” said an optimistic Mr. Kenner, “I was offered two cloud seeding jobs with Evergreen and the Intellectual Ventures out of Washington. I took the Evergreen job because I wanted to stay in California and there was greater opportunity to move up. And besides, Nathan Myhrvold’s gig [Intellectual Ventures] is too much R&D and not enough flight time.”

According to Evergreen Human Resources, the company prides itself in promoting from within, saying they like to keep their trade secrets “within the family.” When Gish Gallop asked for some details about Mr. Kenner’s future promotion, the company denied “conspiracy claims” that they are involved in any type of chemtrail spraying.

Recently, heavy metal band Iron Maiden entered the geoengineering business.
A fan snapped this picture of Ed Force One over Colorado earlier this week.

“Here at Evergreen, we consider our employees our biggest asset,” said HR representative Bethany Millbright reading from a prepared statement. “Our fleet is the most effective airborne combatant of Earth-threatening events. However, as we do with all press releases, we would like to reiterate that the company has nothing to do with any current, past or future weather modification activities.”



As for Mr. Kenner, he had a slightly different perspective on both his and the company’s growth opportunities.

“We’ve been so busy the past year,” continued Mr. Kenner. “Evergreen is busy promoting new recruits from Internet shill positions to cloud seeding. So that means I’m moving up as well. And to top it off, we just bought 6 new 747-200M ‘combies’  which is a new hybrid passenger and spraying vessel. I bet my new assignment will be on one of those.”

avatar
2 Comment threads
0 Thread replies
0 Followers
 
Most reacted comment
Hottest comment thread
1 Comment authors
robco26 Recent comment authors
  Subscribe  
newest oldest most voted
Notify of
robco26
Guest
robco26

Murderous scum.

robco26
Guest
robco26

Murderous scum.