Cedar Ridge, CA — Cedar Ridge private contractor, family man and dutiful husband Ken Rice accidentally washed himself in the wrong order in the shower early Wednesday morning, according to sources close to the Rice Family.
“He was talking about it at the ‘Shaft’,” commented a patron at the popular local watering hole who overheard Mr. Rice’s concerns. “He was a little drunk and was ‘over sharing’ if you know what I mean. He had a friend with him who had to stop him from posting it to Facebook.”
Although there are no official rules on the order that one should wash themselves in the shower, generally one should wash his/her dirty bits last and with soap, body wash, etc. in order to avoid having one’s face smell like ass.
“He was going on how he washed his ass first,” continued the anonymous Mineshaft source, ” and then he washed his face. He was laughing about it. But I think if he wasn’t drunk, he wouldn’t have been laughing. His drunk friends even tried sniffing his face. Kinda gross, right?”
Gish Gallop reached out to Mr. Rice for comment on Wednesday afternoon, but he declined comment.