Area Meat Cutter Has Had It With Chicken Breasts

Paul Payne is really angry about the way people order chicken breasts.
Paul Payne is really angry about the way people order chicken breasts. He might need some anger management training.

Nevada City, CA Area meat cutter Paul Payne is just about out of patience with his customers. He’s worked behind the counter as a meat cutter answering locals’ questions about fish, meat and poultry for over 17 year. However late Monday night towards the end of his shift, he confided in his boss Joe Wright that he was sick and tired of explaining chicken breasts to his customers.

“I’m done,” said an exasperated Mr. Payne in a Gish Gallop telephone interview. “I’ve been trying to explain the concept of a chicken breast to customers for years, and they still don’t get it. I mean, the same god-damned people, week in, week out. It’s like they’re not even listening to me.”

At the heart of the matter is the portion size of a full chicken breast. What most people would consider a single chicken breast is really a half of a breast; a breast being the entire front section of a bird.

This is a chicken breast. Not two chicken breasts.
This is a chicken breast. Not two chicken breasts.

“They come up and ask for, say, four chicken breasts,” continued Mr. Payne, “and I give them four. But they think that’s eight. And I tell them, ‘no, that’s four. You must mean two then.’  Then it gets into a brief staring match between them and myself. One time, this guy got in my face and said I didn’t know what I was talking about. And I’m the guy who works with meat all day.”

It’s unclear why most consumers don’t understand the concept of a chicken breast, but Mr. Payne has an idea.

“It’s because of the TV and marketing. People are used to getting a half breast on their sandwich, so they assume it’s a breast. But a chicken doesn’t have a 1/2 breast. Not that I’ve seen,” chuckled Mr. Payne taking a moment from his discontent with the public. “Anyhow, it’s not going to change anytime soon, but that doesn’t mean I have to like it.”

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