Grass Valley, CA — Grass Valley mother of three and self-proclaimed “Mommy of the year” Karen Beecher announced at last Thursday’s city council meeting that she has effectively solved all of California’s Wildfire problems. In a 15 minute presentation, Ms. Beecher outlined her plan and said she will take it to State officials before the end of the month.
“I’m positive that with the right support,” said Ms. Beecher at the end of her talk, “we can effectively snuff out all wildfires in California within the next year.”
Despite a normal year of rainfall, the drought in California continues. The State has suffered from over 6300 wildfires last year, which destroyed over 307,000 acres and the loss of nine lives. That is why she’s proposing to use existing firefighters and firefighting equipment to water the forest. Miss Beecher says she understands this year’s drought is the biggest threat to California’s forests this year.
“The answer has been staring at us this whole time,” she explains. “If we don’t have the water that we need we just get the water elsewhere, and where is better than a fire truck? They’ve already got water in them, and since the firefighters aren’t doing anything anyway, just sitting around the station waiting for something to happen, they should go out and water the trees.” When asked where they would get the water during such a severe drought, she bristled. “From the fire hydrants of course. There’s practically one on every corner.”
Miss Beecher is also asking for funding from the State to help pay for fire fighting airplanes and helicopters to be refurbished for watering.
“Prevention is the key to success,” continued Ms. Beecher. “If you’re out there watering the trees it’s really hard to get a fire started, and if one does star you’re already there with the hoses. It’s a win-win situation.”