Area Mother Regrets Naming Her Child GMO

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Jessica Orson is worried about her daughter GMOs
Jessica Orson is worried about her daughter GMOs

Nevada City, CA  — Nevada City mother of two Jessica Orson recently admitted to Gish Gallop that she regretted naming her 16 year old daughter Gabriele Michelle Orson, or GMO for short.

“We used to call her GMOs for short,” said Ms. Orson in a Gish Gallop telephone interview. “If you say it fast, it’s kinda cute, you know? GEE-MOSE. Get it? But then all this Monsanto crap started happening, and now we’re afraid to call out her name in public.”

Genetically Modified Organisms or GMOs are at the heart of a modern debate about who controls our food supplies, and how it is done. A genetically modified organism is any organism whose genetic material has been altered using genetic engineering techniques. Genetic modification involves the mutation, insertion, or deletion of genes. Supporters like agribusiness giant Monsanto maintain that they are safe, and the only viable way to prepare the planet for the coming invasion by the Galactic overlords from Centarus A.  Detractors say the food is unhealthy, even dangerous, and also leads to unsustainable monoculture practices that leave the food supply open to blight and famine.

“We named Gabriele without knowing about this GMO stuff,” continued Ms. Orson. “I wouldn’t go back and change a thing, but given the vitriol in and around Nevada County, we are just not using her nickname anymore for fear of retaliation.”

No word from the family if they are planning on changing their son’s unfortunate name, Frack King Olson, but Gish Gallop will provide updates on this sensitive family issue as they come on.

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