Area Transplant Thinks Whole Town Smells Like Dope

Recent Vacaville Transplant Tommy Empire.
Recent Vacaville Transplant Tommy Empire.

Grass Valley, CA — Recent area transplant Tommy Empire isn’t happy about what he smells in and around Grass Valley, CA. He’s been visiting local businesses and even public institutions, and he’s not one bit happy about what he smells.

“Everywhere I go, it smells like dope,” said an irritated Mr. Empire in a Gish Gallop interview from his Cedar Ridge, CA home. “I went to the Post Office. Dope. I went to the Safeway. Dope. I went to Taco Bell. Big Dope. Dope. Dope. Dope. Everywhere.”

Late September into October is harvest season in Nevada County where local farmers and medicine advocates harvest their Cannabis crop. Being arguably the county’s largest income producer, and a significant contributor the economic well-being of the area, the Marijuana industry draws people from all over the world to work as “trimmigants,” which is a portmanteau of “trimmers” and migrant worker “immigrants.” Because of the pungent “skunk-ish” odor from the Cannabis harvest process, it tends to “stick” on workers.

“After a while,” said Canadian trimmigant Josh Bediun working on a Girl Scout Cookie operation in an undisclosed location, “you just don’t smell it anymore and you forget you smell like bud. I was in the Safeway and everyone was polite, but kinda smiling weirdly at me. Then I was like, ‘oh yeah.'”

As for Tommy Empire, he seems annoyed.

“When Peg and I moved up from Vacaville, we were just ‘trying to get away from it all,’ you know? We were looking for a quiet place to retire,” said an agitated Mr. Empire. “I mean it’s too easy to make fun of the city name. ‘Grass Valley’ and all. But we had no idea how prevalent the dope business was up here. I suppose it’s kinda funny. And annoying that the whole town smells like a dope Glade air freshener.”