Ben Carson: Obamacare Stealing Your Identity and Cloning Your Poo

Dr. Ben Carson, Democrat drones, and Federal stool collection kit.
Dr. Ben Carson, Democrat drones, and Federal stool collection kit.

Sacramento, CA — Dr. Ben Carson, acclaimed neurosurgeon and GOP front-runner for the 2016 Republican presidential nomination ripped the mask off of Obamacare today in a campaign speech/press conference stop in Sacramento. As a leading opponent of the Affordable Care Act (ACA/Obamacare) he told the crowd, in no uncertain terms, “that the ACA is the biggest fraud perpetrated by the US government since The New Dealboth being Democrat chicanery.”

“When I tell you what the Democrats are up to right now, you’re going to need oxygen!” Carson exclaimed. “Right now, through Obamacare, the Democrats are stealing your personal information, to include, but not limited to, your name, address, and social security number. They have it all and they can use and abuse your identity in any way they choose! And, as if that isn’t bad enough, they are now sending out packets to everyone on Obamacare. Packets asking for unsolicited fecal, that means poo, samples.”

You can imagine the snickering from the 300 media personnel and 1000 voters present when he said poo.

The Obamacare Poo collection kit.
The Obamacare Poo collection kit.

“That’s right, I said POO!” shouted Dr. Carson. “The packet contains a postage paid return envelope, a blue baggie for you to poo into, two brushes that allow you to paint your own poo onto a specimen card, and, of course, the specimen card.

And why do they want your poo?” Carson said with a grin. “They have your identity locked down, now they need an ignoramus body to attach it to.”

The crowd couldn’t stop giggling, what with Carson’s smile and the continued use of the “P” word.

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