Little Rock, AR — Our nation enters a time of mourning as former President Bill Clinton was found dead today of an apparent suicide. The Little Rock police have released that he had hung himself in his hotel room. A maid for the hotel discovered President Clinton at 12:05 pm this afternoon, hanging from a sheet tied around the rooms sprinkler nozzle.
Hillary Clinton, who tried running for President, was at the couple’s estate in New York taking time off. Former President Clinton was in Little Rock visiting business leaders.
Controversy is beginning to swirl around as more than 724 former Clinton associates, friends, family members and even pets have died of mysterious circumstances. Many conspiracy theorists believe former President Clinton to be number 49 on Hillary’s kill list.
Geoff Brant, blogger at Conspiracy1.net spoke to Gish Gallop regarding the suicide.
“Suicide! HAHA, right like 723 other Clinton associates ‘committed’ suicide,” said an animated Brant. “Let’s just say, ol’ Billy got himself in hot water with the Queen and she had him beheaded.”
President Obama has ordered flags to half-staff in honor of former President Clinton. Religious leaders condemned him for glorifying suicide, that Mr. Clinton is now burning in hell for that sin.
Hillary Clinton’s campaign manager, Robert Mook, released a statement on Hillary’s behalf.
“We are in mourning now. Hillary wishes to be left alone as she travels to the Caribbean to mourn her husband. She will speak to the press upon her return”.