Breaking: Gish Gallop Correspondent Parker Sloanberg Abducted by Aliens

ParkerMifflin, OH — Gish Gallop has just learned that esteemed Gish Gallop correspondent Parker Sloanberg might, we repeat *might* have been abducted by an alien spacecraft in near Mifflin, Ohio.

Details are scarce at the moment, but both Fink and Lou received a distressing phone calls late Sunday evening from what appeared, again from *what appeared*, to be a freaked out Parker Sloanberg just prior to being sucked into a spacecraft.

Lou and Fink have attempted to contact Mr. Sloanberg, but his mobile phone is immediately going to voicemail, which is deeply concerning. Gish Gallop Insurance Plan does NOT cover alien abductions.

We will keep you updated on this serious and developing story.

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