California Proposes Taxing Social Media

A new proposes California law will tax social media interactions.
A new proposes California law will tax social media interactions.

Sacramento, CA — Just days after talk of a tax on phone texts, the California legislature is moving forward with a “Social Media Tax”.  1st District Republican Brian Dahle presented the bill to the California Assembly.

The proposed tax would charge social media users .002 cents per session, including .001 cents per reply to a post and sharing a post and .003 cents for creating an original post. Your phone provider, for mobile transactions, would be responsible for collecting the tax and monitoring users, though the state government would have unlimited access to user accounts to ensure compliance. A state-built application called ‘Social Pay’ will bill traditional desktop sessions.

Lawmakers hope the tax will be used to help fund social media access to low income and immigrant residents.

Representative Dahle spoke to us from his office in Sacramento. When asked why this tax was proposed, this is what he had to say.

“We need to encourage people to limit their free speech, frankly it is getting out of control”, said Dahle. “To create change you have to hit people where it hurts, their wallet. Of course a provision is being placed into the tax to exempt law makers from paying”.

Not Popular with Citizens

Locals at and area gathering spot Shilling’s Pub are outraged over the tax. The word revolution, was overheard many times throughout the night.

Local Brian Shamilton spoke to me over after his 6th beer. He had this to say about the tax.

“It’s friggin’ bullshit bro, how am I supposed to let people know I’m sad or happy, how am I going to remember friggin’ birthdays!” Said Brian. “I can’t even drunk post my political and social rants anymore. This is a systematic effort to curb my rights by the man, man”.

According to sources, the tax will be put to the State Senate for a vote in the next session set to take place early next year. Call your state representatives to let them know how you feel. The governor has set-up a hot-line just for this purpose: 1-530-278-5046, M-F 9:30 – 4pm Pacific Time. Closed for lunch and on weekends.

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Cleveland Sam
Cleveland Sam, born Sam C. Sharpe, is a hero, a hero to anyone who knows him in Ohio. At the mere age of 7, he rescued a small girl from the clutches of a herd of llamas outside his boyhood home of Cleveland, OH. By the age of 12, he had already rescued over 14 children from near deaths ranging from freak ice cream truck accidents, to drownings in neighbors' Dough Boy Pools. But his heroism didn't stop at youth. No sir. As a teenager, he saved the entire cheerleading squad of his local high school from certain death with their "party van" caught fire during a local "rager." He writes for Gish Gallop because he feels he needs to rescue it. He's probably correct.