Family Cited For Viking Funeral on Local Lake

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Photo taken seconds after the explosion on Scotts Flat Lake.
This photo was taken seconds after the explosion on Scotts Flat Lake.

Cascade Shores, CA — A local family from the Cascade Shores housing development is in hot water for attempting to cremate a deceased relative on Scotts Flat Lake earlier today. The Barstad family recently suffered the loss of the family’s patriarch, Norman Barstad, who had lived with the family at their Spanish Lane home. The senior Barstad, who was 92 years old when he passed last week, requested that he receive a full Viking burial on the water. The family agreed to his last wish. Unfortunately, neither the Nevada County Health Department nor the Sheriff (who answered numerous  9-1-1 phone calls) seemed to think this was a good idea.

“Generally, the burning of bodies on an open and public water space is frowned upon,” said Nevada County Sheriff Keith Royal in a prepared press statement. “And although there are no specific laws preventing a traditional Viking funeral on Scotts Flat, you can’t just set stuff on fire and send it off into the lake. Especially things as explosive as this.”

According to witnesses at the lake, the Barstad family gathered on the shore of the Nevada Irrigation District-owned lake around 11 AM on Friday. A large Dodge truck was towing what appeared to be a homemade pontoon boat. There is some debate about the makeup of the boat. Some said that it looked like a pile of logs; others said it looked like a re-purposed pontoon boat covered in kindling. What is not in question is what happened once it arrived in the middle of the lake and detonated.

“Yeah I was fishing,” said area handyman Hank Snow in a Gish Gallop telephone interview. “I saw these guys lower this homemade pile of sticks down the boat launch ramp. I didn’t think much of it because, well, you know, this is Nevada County and I figured it was a back-to-nature type of thing. But when no one got on the boat and then about 200 yards out it exploded into flames, I was like, ‘Holy [redacted]’ and I called 9-1-1. There was debris flying everywhere. I think I got hit with a detached finger.”

Jimmie Barstad, the son of the incinerated father who organized and built the cremation boat, said that he may have “overstocked” the vessel with too much gasoline and surplus illegal fireworks from the last 4th of July.

“Well, I wanted to make sure that it went off and worked,” said a somewhat proud and nervous Jimmie Barstad. “So I really stuffed that thing with everything flammable I could find. I just didn’t think gasoline would explode like that. I thought it would work more like the lighter fluid on my Weber grill. So the explosion scared the heck out of everyone. We’re still picking up pieces of Dad all over Cascade Shores.”

Instead of engulfing the senior Barstad in gentle and majestic Viking flames, the homemade barge violently exploded, sending bits of the senior Barstad flying over Cascade Shores. While some of the remains of Mr. Barstad immediately disintegrated from the intense explosion, some body parts landed around the development.

“I heard this explosion in the distance,” said Cascade Shores resident Sherry Smith. “I didn’t think much of it at first because we’re always hearing crap like that up here. You know, shotguns and whatnot. It wasn’t until I heard a thump on my metal roof. I went outside and right as I looked up, part of a leg slid down and whacked me in the head. It was pretty horrible.”

Other neighbors reported mostly wood debris in, on, and around their properties. One local family was struck by flying fragments while using their powerboat.

“We were out there with the family,” said Stacy Grant of Nevada City. “We had borrowed my Dad’s boat and were tooting around the lake. We didn’t see the explosion. We heard it. We were up by the dam, which was kinda far away. We still got showered with a bunch of sticks and things. I hope they were just things.”

As for the Barstad family, they have no regrets about giving their patriarch a proper Viking burial.

“It’s the Viking way,” said Jimmie Barstad describing the last wish of his now incinerated father. “We were happy to pay the fine to give Dad the burial he wanted. We knew there would be some risk, but this is Nevada County and we hoped that no one would notice or care that much. Turns out we were correct, except for the Sheriff and County officials. I hope to have my burial on Lake Tahoe someday. But that will be a trickier one for my kids to figure out. I’m glad they got to see their Grandpa leave us like this. It was a special day for everyone.”

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Bert Sierra
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Bert Sierra

Fakest sloppy Photoshopping I’ve seen in a long time. Is there any shred of truth to this story?

Webmaster Tim
Guest

Hmmmn…why do you ask?

Bert Sierra
Guest
Bert Sierra

Okay, I get it now and apologize — I should have looked at other pages on the NCGish Gallop website before commenting. I’ve got it now — was fact checking for a friend who asked.

Bert Sierra
Guest
Bert Sierra

Fakest sloppy Photoshopping I’ve seen in a long time. Is there any shred of truth to this story?

Webmaster Tim
Guest

Hmmmn…why do you ask?

Bert Sierra
Guest
Bert Sierra

Okay, I get it now and apologize — I should have looked at other pages on the NCGish Gallop website before commenting. I’ve got it now — was fact checking for a friend who asked.

Snead Hearn
Guest
Snead Hearn

Let’s have Mythbuster’s check on this.

Webmaster Tim
Guest

Just try it in the backyard with Grandma.

Eric S
Guest
Eric S

Gramma got blown now, by a reindeer….

Kevin O'connor
Guest
Kevin O'connor

THAT is a whole different las rite!

delphinus100
Guest
delphinus100

Not much point. No one doubts that setting a boat on fire is possible, or that sufficient stupidity exists in the world. And:

“… I just didn’t think gasoline would explode like that.”

Are already famous last words.

stargazer3
Guest
stargazer3

Ha!

Leland Lewis
Guest
Leland Lewis

That and, “Hold my beer and watch this!” lol

Zeeba Neighba
Guest
Zeeba Neighba

No need to. Look at the home page of this publication and you’ll get your answer.

Shelley MacGregor
Guest
Shelley MacGregor

Yeah, it sounds like a joke/hoax to me.

Nick Rivers
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Nick Rivers

You mean, METHBUSTERS?

rishi
Guest
rishi

Muslim hater dirty kuffar natanyahoo’s a$$ likker

Pat
Guest
Pat

it’s fake

Pat
Guest
Pat

it’s fake

Snead Hearn
Guest
Snead Hearn

Let’s have Mythbuster’s check on this.

Webmaster Tim
Guest

Just try it in the backyard with Grandma.

Eric S
Guest
Eric S

Gramma got blown now, by a reindeer….

Kevin O'connor
Guest
Kevin O'connor

THAT is a whole different las rite!

delphinus100
Guest
delphinus100

Not much point. No one doubts that setting a boat on fire is possible, or that sufficient stupidity exists in the world. And:

“… I just didn’t think gasoline would explode like that.”

Are already famous last words.

stargazer3
Guest
stargazer3

Ha!

Leland Lewis
Guest
Leland Lewis

That and, “Hold my beer and watch this!” lol

Zeeba Neighba
Guest
Zeeba Neighba

No need to. Look at the home page of this publication and you’ll get your answer.

Shelley MacGregor
Guest
Shelley MacGregor

Yeah, it sounds like a joke/hoax to me.

Nick Rivers
Guest
Nick Rivers

You mean, METHBUSTERS?

rishi
Guest
rishi

Muslim hater dirty kuffar natanyahoo’s a$$ likker

Pat
Guest
Pat

it’s fake

Pat
Guest
Pat

it’s fake

John Burch
Guest
John Burch

Yeah, lets blow the shit out of Dad for his final request.

Webmaster Tim
Guest

Best comment of the day.

Joshua Crocker
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Joshua Crocker

I should not be laughing at this because I am pagan myself. But I do have to say that was kind of funny.

JimthePE
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JimthePE

I’m sure if Mr. Barstad were real, he and the all-father would be laughing uproariously.

Wolf
Guest
Wolf

THIS! So much this. Welcome to Valhalla. Care to watch your final send off? It is awesome!

JimthePE
Guest
JimthePE

Oh, and try not to squirt mead your nose.

kitchen bish
Guest
kitchen bish

Dad always said he wanted to share himself with the world…

Mike Trozzo
Guest
Mike Trozzo

Because Mom sure as hell didn’t.

rushevents
Guest
rushevents

Talk about going out with a Bang!

BarkingUnicorn
Guest
BarkingUnicorn

So how much was the fine? 😉 Also, sheriff should about the law prohibiting abuse of a corpse. So yeah, fake news is fake.

Ian Collins
Guest
Ian Collins

Satire, actually. The whole site is satire, in case you’d not noticed…

Arya Kidding
Guest
Arya Kidding

Satire is NOT “fake news”.

Webmaster Tim
Guest

We here that Huckleberry Finn was decried as “fake news” back in the day.

Larry Larson
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Larry Larson

Sssshhhh! Don’t tell the dummies!

John Burch
Guest
John Burch

Yeah, lets blow the shit out of Dad for his final request.

Webmaster Tim
Guest

Best comment of the day.

Joshua Crocker
Guest
Joshua Crocker

I should not be laughing at this because I am pagan myself. But I do have to say that was kind of funny.

JimthePE
Guest
JimthePE

I’m sure if Mr. Barstad were real, he and the all-father would be laughing uproariously.

Wolf
Guest
Wolf

THIS! So much this. Welcome to Valhalla. Care to watch your final send off? It is awesome!

JimthePE
Guest
JimthePE

Oh, and try not to squirt mead your nose.

kitchen bish
Guest
kitchen bish

Dad always said he wanted to share himself with the world…

Mike Trozzo
Guest
Mike Trozzo

Because Mom sure as hell didn’t.

rushevents
Guest
rushevents

Talk about going out with a Bang!

BarkingUnicorn
Guest
BarkingUnicorn

So how much was the fine? 😉 Also, sheriff should about the law prohibiting abuse of a corpse. So yeah, fake news is fake.

Ian Collins
Guest
Ian Collins

Satire, actually. The whole site is satire, in case you’d not noticed…

Arya Kidding
Guest
Arya Kidding

Satire is NOT “fake news”.

Webmaster Tim
Guest

We here that Huckleberry Finn was decried as “fake news” back in the day.

Larry Larson
Guest
Larry Larson

Sssshhhh! Don’t tell the dummies!

William Dean Luke
Guest
William Dean Luke

he’s fucking lying about the detached finger.

Webmaster Tim
Guest

Many people have seen it. The local paper has it preserved in a Mason jar in their office.

TheIdiotStephennorman
Guest

Dad went out with a bang not a whimper….to paraphrase TS Elliot.

Webmaster Tim
Guest

TS Eliot should have been so lucky.

TheIdiotStephennorman
Guest

We should all be so lucky. I hope this becomes a thing.

Webmaster Tim
Guest

You’re like the 20th person to mention that to us since we’ve published this.

TheIdiotStephennorman
Guest

So then it has become a thing.

TheIdiotStephennorman
Guest

This is because my other 19 friends told me about it.

William Dean Luke
Guest
William Dean Luke

he’s fucking lying about the detached finger.

Webmaster Tim
Guest

Many people have seen it. The local paper has it preserved in a Mason jar in their office.

TheIdiotStephennorman
Guest

Dad went out with a bang not a whimper….to paraphrase TS Elliot.

Webmaster Tim
Guest

TS Eliot should have been so lucky.

TheIdiotStephennorman
Guest

We should all be so lucky. I hope this becomes a thing.

Webmaster Tim
Guest

You’re like the 20th person to mention that to us since we’ve published this.

TheIdiotStephennorman
Guest

So then it has become a thing.

TheIdiotStephennorman
Guest

This is because my other 19 friends told me about it.

Daryl L. Hunter
Guest

Excellent

Daryl L. Hunter
Guest

Excellent

Emily Dinwiddie-Cole
Guest
Emily Dinwiddie-Cole

Can they prove they are of Viking Descent? That funeral pyre is a RELIGIOUS ceremony. If they can prove they are of Viking blood, then they cannot be cited for this.

JimthePE
Guest
JimthePE

So, a religious convert can’t have a Viking funeral?

Emily Dinwiddie-Cole
Guest
Emily Dinwiddie-Cole

I think you misinterpreted my statement. I am not against their practice, but a funeral pyre is a Viking religious ritual and discrimination against their religious practices is illegal.

JimthePE
Guest
JimthePE

In that case, may you never have an Aztek as an evemy.

disqus_tXce7yOZeo
Guest
disqus_tXce7yOZeo

ROTFL!

RoccoJohnson
Guest
RoccoJohnson

Yes, but there’s supposed to be a separation between church and lake.

Webmaster Tim
Guest

Simply brilliant.

Too obvious?
Guest
Too obvious?

You don’t have to BE a Viking, you just have to identify as a Viking.

Emily Dinwiddie-Cole
Guest
Emily Dinwiddie-Cole

Ah but its best if you can prove the viking lineage, then the authorities have no leg to stand on.

debbuch
Guest
debbuch

…much like the grandfather…. sorry…couldn’t resist…. 🙂

stfree
Guest
stfree

Of course, they have no leg to stand on; Sherry Smith has it. RALMAO

Lori
Guest
Lori

HA HA HA HA HA HA

Kevin O'connor
Guest
Kevin O'connor

CIS Viking?

johnnypants
Guest
johnnypants

Baloney pie. There are little things called laws, permits, that sort of thing…no matter who/what you profess to be………

Bob Bichin
Guest
Bob Bichin

ROFLMFAO

Emily Dinwiddie-Cole
Guest
Emily Dinwiddie-Cole

Can they prove they are of Viking Descent? That funeral pyre is a RELIGIOUS ceremony. If they can prove they are of Viking blood, then they cannot be cited for this.

JimthePE
Guest
JimthePE

So, a religious convert can’t have a Viking funeral?

Emily Dinwiddie-Cole
Guest
Emily Dinwiddie-Cole

I think you misinterpreted my statement. I am not against their practice, but a funeral pyre is a Viking religious ritual and discrimination against their religious practices is illegal.

JimthePE
Guest
JimthePE

In that case, may you never have an Aztek as an evemy.

disqus_tXce7yOZeo
Guest
disqus_tXce7yOZeo

ROTFL!

RoccoJohnson
Guest
RoccoJohnson

Yes, but there’s supposed to be a separation between church and lake.

Webmaster Tim
Guest

Simply brilliant.

Too obvious?
Guest
Too obvious?

You don’t have to BE a Viking, you just have to identify as a Viking.

Emily Dinwiddie-Cole
Guest
Emily Dinwiddie-Cole

Ah but its best if you can prove the viking lineage, then the authorities have no leg to stand on.

debbuch
Guest
debbuch

…much like the grandfather…. sorry…couldn’t resist…. 🙂

stfree
Guest
stfree

Of course, they have no leg to stand on; Sherry Smith has it. RALMAO

Lori
Guest
Lori

HA HA HA HA HA HA

Kevin O'connor
Guest
Kevin O'connor

CIS Viking?

johnnypants
Guest
johnnypants

Baloney pie. There are little things called laws, permits, that sort of thing…no matter who/what you profess to be………

Ed Meyer
Guest
Ed Meyer

I think they are jumping to conclusion. That arm could have come from an airplane blowing up in the sky over them or something. Same with the finger. It all sounds very innocent to me.

Bob Bichin
Guest
Bob Bichin

ROFLMFAO

Ed Meyer
Guest
Ed Meyer

I think they are jumping to conclusion. That arm could have come from an airplane blowing up in the sky over them or something. Same with the finger. It all sounds very innocent to me.

Allen Pilgrim
Guest
Allen Pilgrim

This is a fake story. Notice that the picture on Wikipedia is EXACTLY the same in every detail except for the explosion that was added in:comment image. I have ZERO time for sites that do this.

Duc Prince étranger
Guest
Duc Prince étranger

Personally, I’d have put him on ice and waited ’til the 4th of July. The whole shebang could have faded into the background noise.

Poor Planning. Very Bad!

Webmaster Tim
Guest

SAD!

Webmaster Tim
Guest

SAD!

stargazer3
Guest
stargazer3

These people don’t sound too bright

Susan R Cook
Guest
Susan R Cook

They may not be, but they sure are a lot of fun!

Allen Pilgrim
Guest
Allen Pilgrim

This is a fake story. Notice that the picture on Wikipedia is EXACTLY the same in every detail except for the explosion that was added in:comment image. I have ZERO time for sites that do this.

Philip Ireland
Guest
Philip Ireland

A story well-told. Thank you Chip for the light touch. You have us a sense of place, culture, and people – and comedy wrapped in a funeral pyre.

Duc Prince étranger
Guest
Duc Prince étranger

Personally, I’d have put him on ice and waited ’til the 4th of July. The whole shebang could have faded into the background noise.

Poor Planning. Very Bad!

Webmaster Tim
Guest

SAD!

Webmaster Tim
Guest

SAD!

yeyshonan
Guest

McGiver World!
Instant crematorium!

stargazer3
Guest
stargazer3

These people don’t sound too bright

Susan R Cook
Guest
Susan R Cook

They may not be, but they sure are a lot of fun!

Krista Clem O'Sullivan
Guest
Krista Clem O'Sullivan

My dream, has finally gone up in smoke! Hail Odin!

Krista Clem O'Sullivan
Guest
Krista Clem O'Sullivan

But the explosion bit, that’s just overkill. Lmaooooo

The Countess
Guest
The Countess

Guess Grandpa was gassy…

Philip Ireland
Guest
Philip Ireland

A story well-told. Thank you Chip for the light touch. You have us a sense of place, culture, and people – and comedy wrapped in a funeral pyre.

yeyshonan
Guest

McGiver World!
Instant crematorium!

Krista Clem O'Sullivan
Guest
Krista Clem O'Sullivan

My dream, has finally gone up in smoke! Hail Odin!

Krista Clem O'Sullivan
Guest
Krista Clem O'Sullivan

But the explosion bit, that’s just overkill. Lmaooooo

The Countess
Guest
The Countess

Guess Grandpa was gassy…

Jane Wilson
Guest
Jane Wilson

LOL the guy probably should have researched the correct way to do it LOL. But still, good for them!

Jws324
Guest
Jws324

As pointed out above, it’s just satire. It had me laughing though. I buried my dad a few months ago and I couldn’t stop thinking how much he would have loved to have been blown up on a lake, LOL!

Curt Brasier
Guest
Curt Brasier

It’s always better to go out with a bang than a whimper! 😉

ss442es
Guest
ss442es

” Ole Grandpappy was a real blast!”
“This family really blew it didn’t they?”
“Where is Norman” a reporter asked, “Uh, everywhere” a close family member responded.

Kevin Hanson
Guest
Kevin Hanson

The whole story is BS. The photo is photoshopped. NONE of this is actually true. This is what you call “satire”, people.

Edmond Roney
Guest
Edmond Roney

The purpose of a viking funeral is to incinerate the body, not blow it apart and spread it all over the neighborhood. Why would anyone add fireworks to the structure that was being burned? Also you only need enough fuel to start the fire which in turn burns the wood upon which the body is laid, which burns the body up. He could have put fuel on the body to increase the burning, but not needed.

Brad White
Guest
Brad White

This is such a tragedy. Unfortunately this family although well-intentioned, broke many laws. “Scuttling” a vessel is a big deal with the US Coast Guard. Typically needs to be done in 5,000 feet of water. Just the fuel pollution claim alone could exceed a million dollars. Burying a full body and sea means just that—in the ocean. Not in any rivers, lakes, ponds or streams. This should’ve been done at least 3 miles from the line of demarcation and in at least 600 feet of ocean water depth. I am certain the EPA may levy stiff fines. The family should’ve… Read more »

Sarah
Guest
Sarah

It’s a satire article.

richo
Guest
richo

its photoshopped, and badly!

Jane Wilson
Guest
Jane Wilson

LOL the guy probably should have researched the correct way to do it LOL. But still, good for them!

Jws324
Guest
Jws324

As pointed out above, it’s just satire. It had me laughing though. I buried my dad a few months ago and I couldn’t stop thinking how much he would have loved to have been blown up on a lake, LOL!

Curt Brasier
Guest
Curt Brasier

It’s always better to go out with a bang than a whimper! 😉

wils
Guest
wils

Cremate me first, so no one gets hit with body parts, LOL …and don’t use gasoline….cheap vodka would work [less expensive , too]

ss442es
Guest
ss442es

” Ole Grandpappy was a real blast!”
“This family really blew it didn’t they?”
“Where is Norman” a reporter asked, “Uh, everywhere” a close family member responded.

Kevin Hanson
Guest
Kevin Hanson

The whole story is BS. The photo is photoshopped. NONE of this is actually true. This is what you call “satire”, people.

Edmond Roney
Guest
Edmond Roney

The purpose of a viking funeral is to incinerate the body, not blow it apart and spread it all over the neighborhood. Why would anyone add fireworks to the structure that was being burned? Also you only need enough fuel to start the fire which in turn burns the wood upon which the body is laid, which burns the body up. He could have put fuel on the body to increase the burning, but not needed.

Brad White
Guest
Brad White

This is such a tragedy. Unfortunately this family although well-intentioned, broke many laws. “Scuttling” a vessel is a big deal with the US Coast Guard. Typically needs to be done in 5,000 feet of water. Just the fuel pollution claim alone could exceed a million dollars. Burying a full body and sea means just that—in the ocean. Not in any rivers, lakes, ponds or streams. This should’ve been done at least 3 miles from the line of demarcation and in at least 600 feet of ocean water depth. I am certain the EPA may levy stiff fines. The family should’ve… Read more »

Sarah
Guest
Sarah

It’s a satire article.

richo
Guest
richo

its photoshopped, and badly!

PixieDeval
Guest
PixieDeval

In Colorado there is a town that does Viking Funeral Pyres. ^_^ Not on water though, but it is an outdoor pyre that all can gather round.

wils
Guest
wils

Cremate me first, so no one gets hit with body parts, LOL …and don’t use gasoline….cheap vodka would work [less expensive , too]

Trent B. Tulpo
Guest
Trent B. Tulpo

I’d have given an arm and a finger to see that.

PixieDeval
Guest
PixieDeval

In Colorado there is a town that does Viking Funeral Pyres. ^_^ Not on water though, but it is an outdoor pyre that all can gather round.

Trent B. Tulpo
Guest
Trent B. Tulpo

I’d have given an arm and a finger to see that.