US To Bomb New Zealand Following Oil Discovery

After recent discoveries of natural gas and oil deposits in the tiny island-country, President Trump via Executive Order immediately declared war on New Zealand.
Piles of unclaimed luggage at Phoenix's Sky Harbor Airport during Mercury Retrograde.

TSA Luggage Disaster Blamed on Mercury Retrograde

After thousands of bags have become lost or misplaced at airports across the country, officials at Phoenix's Sky Harbor Airport blamed the mishaps on an astrological phenomena called "Mercury Retrograde."
Presidential Republican hopeful Donald Trump says he'll build a wall to keep Americans from leaving.

Trump Mulling Canadian Wall to Keep Americans In

Donald Trump announced today that he plans on building a wall along the Canadian border to keep Americans from leaving.
A Canadian on his way to work. Not a pussy.

As Polar Vortex Swoops In, Canadians Call Americans “A Bag of Pussies”

As much of heartland America and the Eastern Seaboard prepares for "dangerously cold arctic air" from what is known as the Arctic Polar Vortex, many Canadians are simply calling this "winter." As blasts of cold air descend as far as the Southern United States, most Canadians scratch their heads with America's panic.
24 amateur flat earth researchers and 3 crew members are presumed dead.

27 People Missing & Presumed Dead in Flat Earth Expedition

27 flat earth researchers and 3 crew members have been out of radio contact since late last week and are presumed to be dead.

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