Souplantation and Monsanto Team Up on Round-Up Ready Salad Bar

Early Saturday morning the agribusiness giant Monsanto and buffet-style salad bar chain Souplantation announced that they would be joining forces to produce the world's first Round-Up Ready salad bar.

Fukushima Radiation Detected in North San Juan, CA

North San Juan resident, part-time chemtrail researcher and amateur ionizing radiation hobbyist Skyy Wolford announced to a somewhat disinterested crowd that two of his three Geiger counters were registering abnormally high levels of radiation.
New Popeye's Fried Chicken restaurant to harness EMF power their fryers.

Downtown Cell Towers to Power New Popeyes Fried Chicken

After the committee announced that it would allow Verizon contractor Epic Wireless to install as many eight mini cell towers on top of the Friar Tuck's building, new Popeyes owner Nathan Armstrong said the increased Electromagnetic Field (EMF) radiation would help cut his energy costs.
Canada has apparently committed suicide after being linked to the Hillary Clinton email scandal.

Canada Dead Of Apparent Suicide

Tragedy has struck on a massive scale as the nation of Canada was found dead this morning of suicide. The U.N. is reporting that Canada was found suffocated in their sleep. Authorities are dumbfounded as Canada only left a one word note that said, "Sorry."
Anonymous Hackers Playing Robin Hood of the Modern Age

Anonymous Hackers Destroy Bitcoin

Anonymous hackers hacked into multiple databases related to the mining of BTC, individual user’s BTC “wallets”, and other various networks working with BTC exchange as a whole. 

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