Turkish Government Calls on Trump to Declare Trail of Tears Genocide

A coalition of Turkish government members have signed a resolution calling on the United Nations and President Trump to declare the 1830s Trail of Tears an act of genocide.
Noam Chomsky is considering a move to Canada or Quebec.

Noam Chomsky Hires Canadian Real Estate Agent

Renown MIT linguistics professor, media critic and social scientist Noam Chomsky has reportedly hired a Canadian real estate agent apparently with hopes of relocating to the United States neighbor to the north.

Local Researcher: Aleppo, Syria Doesn’t Exist

North San Juan resident, part-time chemtrail researcher and amateur ionizing radiation hobbyist Skyy Wolford announced to a somewhat disinterested crowd out in front of the Sierra Super Stop that Aleppo, Syria is an elaborate hoax and does not exist. Mr. Wolford, who was recently in the news following his landmark Wi-Fi disability settlement, has been studying what he calls "the Aleppo anomaly" for the past 3 years.
Northern California veterinarians are reporting an increase in the number of small pet deaths due to increased Chemtrail activity.

Increased Chemtrail Spraying Leading to Premature Guinea Pig Deaths

Increased aerosolized chemtrail spraying over Northern California has led to an increase in small pet deaths according to area veterinarians.

Area Cloud Seeder Hoping for a Chemtrail Promotion

The former Navy Pilot and current cloud seeding captain of a Evergreen 747 based out of Beale Air Force base, has been eyeing the coveted Chemtrail Captain position ever since he joined Evergreen's gioengineering fleet back in 2006.

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