Tropical Plants Invade North Dakota

Several invasive species of plant life including ferns, bamboo, palm trees and several varieties of psychedelic mushrooms once only native to Maui have been founding on the once relatively barren semi-tundra plains.

UFC Fans Overwhelmingly Know What’s Best for Ex-Champion

In a new Pew poll, 98% of the respondents who self-identified as fans of Mixed Martial Arts (MMA) knew what former Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC) Bantamweight champion Ronda Rousey should do next.

Obama Backpedals On Assault Rifle Ban After Shooting Cheney

In an shocking turn of events, and great news for the NRA, President Obama has reversed his stance on gun control, especially on assault type weapons. Early this morning, a large police force and the United States Secret Service descended upon 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.

Trump Teams Up With IBM for Muslim Punch Card System

Following Donald Trump's recent comments that he "would certainly implement" a database system tracking Muslims in the United States, the Presidential hopeful reached out to American Information Technology giant IBM to ask for their assistance in expediting this new system.
Pfizer creates world's first non-GMO MMR vaccine

Pfizer Creates World’s First Non-GMO Vaccine

The vaccine has been in the works for years following complaints from concerned parents who refuse to vaccinate their children. Pfizer hopes this breakthrough will convince those parents that there is nothing to fear from vaccines.

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