Beijing, China — In a provocative move designed to get under the skin of President Trump, the Chinese Xinhua News Agency announced during a national news broadcast that its wall is thicker, longer and harder than anything Donald Trump could build. The shocking statement, which surprised many in the notoriously conservative country, provoked chuckles across the globe.

As news of the Chinese statement reached Washington, D.C., White House insiders say President Trump exploded, demanding that not only we build a wall, but that it be the hardest mother****** in the world.

“The President was irate,” said one insider according to the Associated Press. “He was marching around the hallways, talking to the portraits. He was asking Richard Nixon for advice. Fortunately, President Nixon didn’t reply that we know of.”

In recent weeks, President Trump has brought up the Great Wall of China as an example of walls “that work.” The Great Wall, which is made of stone, brick, tamped earth, wood, and other materials and stretches almost 4000 miles. President Trump’s wall will be made out of concrete, steel, or even his imagination.


Apart from defense, other purposes of the Great Wall have included border controls, allowing the imposition of duties on goods transported along the Silk Road, regulation or encouragement of trade and the control of immigration and emigration. It is no longer used for those purposes, as it is not seen as being useful for those tasks.

It’s unclear why the Chinese chose this moment to taunt Mr. Trump, however, both the United States and China have been involved in trade talks over the past couple of weeks and critics believe this is a tactic to gain the upper hand in the negotiations.

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