Clinton Body Double Also Crisis Actor

Crisis actress Teresa Barnwell?
Crisis actress Teresa Barnwell?

New York, NY — Hillary Clinton is in a tight race for the Presidency against opponent Donald Trump. Many questions are being asked about the state of Clinton’s health after her numerous coughing fots during campaign speeches. Clinton passed out and had to be helped to her car during a speech in New York on 9/11 after coughing fits prevented her from completing her speech.

Just hours after Clinton’s collapse at the 9/11 memorial event, she emerged looking 20 years younger and healthier. But was it really her? After analysis it has been confirmed by Snopes that it was crisis actress Teresa Barnwell, who bears an uncanny resemblance to Clinton, that took Clinton’s place.

This has prompted a slew of different theories.

“I think she ate a child’s heart and it gave her life,”  said conspiracy theorist and “pure human” Jeff Ilschner in a Facebook post.

It wasn’t until Jill Derang looked closely at old pictures of the mass shooting in Florida that she realized who it was parading as Clinton.

“It is right there, plain as day”, said Derang. “Teresa Barnwell was there as a crisis actor, she was screaming into a telephone.”

After looking at the picture in question, it is difficult to tell. But Derang and her associates are positive that there’s a vast conspiracy to cover-up the Clinton’s involvement in various staged terrorist attacks. They are organizing an awareness campaign to make people aware that Clinton/Barnwell are not who they appear to be.

“We think Hillary died before 9/11”, said Derang. “George Soros hired Barnwell to play Clinton so they could capture the Presidency. And they’re also using this as a part of their agenda to disarm Americans. It’s as obvious as the day is light.”

So far there is no real evidence to back up that claim. Hillary has claimed to have pneumonia and is recovering, though still in the campaign trail.

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Cleveland Sam
Cleveland Sam, born Sam C. Sharpe, is a hero, a hero to anyone who knows him in Ohio. At the mere age of 7, he rescued a small girl from the clutches of a herd of llamas outside his boyhood home of Cleveland, OH. By the age of 12, he had already rescued over 14 children from near deaths ranging from freak ice cream truck accidents, to drownings in neighbors' Dough Boy Pools. But his heroism didn't stop at youth. No sir. As a teenager, he saved the entire cheerleading squad of his local high school from certain death with their "party van" caught fire during a local "rager." He writes for Gish Gallop because he feels he needs to rescue it. He's probably correct.