Dick Punch Dating Offers Innovative Service

Is your date not getting the message? Help is just a push of a button away on your smart phone.
Is your date not getting the message? Help is just a push of a button away on your smart phone.

San Francisco, CA — Women in the dating scene are regularly “hit on” by men hoping to get lucky. In every bar scene you can find an annoyed woman being hit on by an over-aggressive potential suitor. But there is now a solution.

Dick Punch Dating Service (“DP Dating”), offers women a solution. By simply wearing a small GPS locator on themselves, and a with push of a button,  help is on the way. DP Dating will dispatch a martial arts expert to you. He will dick-punch the aggressive man and be sure he leaves you alone.

Kat Gratto is one satisfied customer, she spoke with Gish Gallop about her experience.

“It was fantastic, this guy just would not stop. He was sweating like crazy and kept touching me,” said a disgusted Kat. “I pushed the button and 30 seconds later a guy came over and delivered a vicious dick punch to Mr. Sweaty. I would recommend all my girlfriends get a DP.”

DP Dating offers a 100% satisfaction guarantee on every DP.

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Cleveland Sam
Cleveland Sam, born Sam C. Sharpe, is a hero, a hero to anyone who knows him in Ohio. At the mere age of 7, he rescued a small girl from the clutches of a herd of llamas outside his boyhood home of Cleveland, OH. By the age of 12, he had already rescued over 14 children from near deaths ranging from freak ice cream truck accidents, to drownings in neighbors' Dough Boy Pools. But his heroism didn't stop at youth. No sir. As a teenager, he saved the entire cheerleading squad of his local high school from certain death with their "party van" caught fire during a local "rager." He writes for Gish Gallop because he feels he needs to rescue it. He's probably correct.