Disgraced Weiner Smacks Sanders, Stands Up for Hillary

Anthony Weiner, has some hard questions for Democratic front-runner Bernie Sanders
Anthony Weiner has some hard questions for Democratic front-runner Bernie Sanders.

New York, NY — Disgraced former congressman, Anthony Weiner, has some hard questions for Democratic front-runner Bernie Sanders.

Says unsuccessful New York City mayoral candidate and former Rep. Anthony Weiner, “[a]part from the Donald Trump sideshow, one of the biggest stories in the presidential election this past week has been the apparent momentum Sen. Bernie Sanders is enjoying in his underdog campaign. Millions of Americans stand by the relatively unknown Bernie Sanders. Even as he leads in all the polls, nobody knows who the hell he is.”

“Bernie Sanders has been drawing crowds of thousands at his rallies and is quickly becoming the main primary rival of Democratic frontrunner Hillary Clinton,” continued the former congressman. “I totally get Bernie dick-pics, maybe 2 or 3 a week in my email. However, I’m deeply conflicted about them. He’s not in shape, like I am. Even my world-famous personal photos failed to garner the support I had expected,” says Weiner, referring to his tasteless selfies that led him to resign from congress in disgrace.

“And I don’t get what he’s up to, running as a democrat,” continued Weiner. “He’s a Democratic Socialist, not a Democrat. Believe me I tried to get him over to our side and failed. I really failed. I am a complete and utter failure. But now all of a sudden he wants to join the Democratic party. Is it because he doesn’t want to screw up the election Nader-style, handing power to an idiot who will ruin our country? I think my little squabble with him is more important than the fate of our country, in the long run.”

Taking a break from his complete irrelevancy, Weiner adds, “My wife works for Hillary (Clinton) so there’s that. But I’m also torn because I don’t really understand what she is doing. She has refused to look at even one of Bernie’s nude portraits, yet she is so sure that Sanders is better than me.”

As of press time, Weiner had asked absolutely no questions of Sanders, hard or otherwise.

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