Washington, D.C. — Rumors are swirling around the White House that Vice President Mike Pence is deeply enamored with Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau. It’s unclear just how deep his love is for the young, handsome leader from the Great White North, but insiders are saying Mr. Pence is ‘hot to trot’ for him, like many in Washington D.C. and around the world.
“When Justin walked in the room,” said Gwen Dabble, a White House aide commenting on a round table meeting between Prime Minister Trudeau, President Trump, and 37 female staffers who managed to cram themselves into the Roosevelt Room, “we just all giggled. Ivanka just smiled and stared at him when he spoke. But what’s weird is so did the Vice President.”
Mike Pence recently made news claiming that “Gay Conversion Therapy” saved his marriage when he was in college. Gay Conversion Therapy is the controversial and largely conservative Christian practice of “converting” homosexuals into heterosexuals.
“It [gay conversion therapy] was instrumental in helping me overcoming certain urges,” said the Vice President elect in a recent interview with Fox News. “With God’s help, and the work of many of his therapists, I was able to seek the straight path when I was a younger man. If it wasn’t for that, I would have never been able to marry.”
During the daily press briefing, Press Secretary Sean Spicer refused to answer question about Pence’s deep admiration for the Canadian Prime Minister:
“Look, I’m not going to dignify these kinds of questions with a response,” said an angry and borderline hostile Mr. Spicer. “The Vice President is a devout Christian and a great American. Frankly I’m shocked that you folks [the press corp] are so easily distracted by what’s obviously fake news. I came fully prepared to talk about Russia, and you give me this. Figures.”
As for Prime Minister Trudeau, via his spokesperson, he’s not sure what big deal is about.
“The Prime Ministers really doesn’t understand what all this non-sense is about,” said Trudeau spokesperson Bethany Millbright speaking through a French translator. “He’s focused on what’s best for Canadians, but also how Canada is a good world citizen. He firmly believes, like your Martin Luther King Jr., that we are our brother’s keepers. He will continue to work to help refugees and other downtrodden people around the world.”