Donald Trump Bombshell: Ted Cruz’s Wife Former Call Girl

Donald Trump maintains that Ted Cruz's Wife Heidi is a former call girl.
Donald Trump maintains that Ted Cruz’s Wife Heidi is a former call girl.

Indianapolis, IN — Some are calling Donald Trump’s recent revelation a low blow and dirty politics. Some are calling it fair play in a very dirty game. This morning via Twitter as promised, Donald Trump spilled the beans about his opponent, Lyin’ Ted Cruz’ wife, Heidi. In a Skype interview with Donald Trump this morning, Gish Gallop was able to get some clarification on this new aspect of the Trump, Cruz feud.

“Lyin’ Ted Cruz is married to a former call girl. It’s terrible. So terrible,” stated the Donald. “I mean, Lyin’ Ted Cruz thinks that Americans want a call girl in the White House? It’s terrible. Just terrible,” rambled Mr. Trump.

When asked how he came to be in possession of this information, Mr. Trump responded, “It’s terrible. I didn’t want to have to spill the beans. But I warned him (Cruz) not to go down this path. I warned him. It’s terrible. He put out an attack ad about my wife. It’s terrible, terrible. I warned him. But, he wants to play dirty. I know about a lot of skeletons in GOP closets. It’s terrible. That is why the GOP is so very, very afraid of me. They know that I know, and they know that I will say what I know if I have to say what I know. You know? It’s terrible. Just horrible.”

When asked why he thought this was terrible, Gish Gallop asked a follow-up question.

“How do you know, and is your assertion that Heidi Cruz is a former call girl the truth?”

“Well, I have been in the same room with her when she has committed these terrible, terrible acts. I have pictures! I have video!” exclaimed The Donald. “She is sitting there, dialing the phone. One poor person after another having to endure unsolicited calls from this girl. She wouldn’t stop. She called, and called, and called. It’s terrible. Horrible. And the things she says to these poor voters. Horrible.”

At this point, some woman with a lazy eye came into frame, screamed, and our connection went dead.

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Shady Grove
Shady Grove was born Eugene Wojohouski, May 9th, 1965, in Oyster Bay, Long Island, New York. As a young boy, he had a penchant for shiny objects and colorful stones. His claims of being able to look into the stones and see the future, as well a being able to find buried treasure, were met generally with great skepticism and an occasional tight wedgie. He attended Hicksville High School on Long Island where he excelled at spending the day locked in various school gym lockers, day dreaming, and organizing show tune ensembles with his friends… While in high school, he met his soul mate, Whimsy Goldblatt… After graduation, Eugene and Whimsy were wed in a civil ceremony and left New York for the sunshine and carefree shores of California… This pissed their parents off something awful… Eugene took a job at the docks in San Pedro, California, for a tuna canning company, while Whimsy waited tables in a longshoreman’s diner… Eugene soon earned a reputation as a “shady” character after swindling several of his coworkers with his treasure stones… One afternoon, Whimsy brought Eugene some lunch… They slipped into the canning plant for some privacy and while making passionate love on a suspended steel girder, Whimsy slipped and plunged 40 feet into the tuna steaming vat below… Eugene, fearing that he would lose his job, and maybe worse, did not report the incident to anyone… Whimsy became a small part of 10,000 cans of tuna… Eugene put the incident behind him, did a stint in the military, where he changed his name to Shady Grove, and then moved to San Francisco where he opened an open mic nightclub for poetry and show tunes… He later became a saucier at the posh Bourges Hotel and wrote a regular column for the “Bay Area Breeze”, a publication dedicated to the preservation of show tunes and those who love them…Though he never remarried, he has been in a long term partnership with a woman pretending to be a man, pretending to be a woman… He is now retired somewhere in Gold Country where he spends his time raising two puppies, boating in the cool waters, tending his herb garden, and writing freelance reports for several news agencies…
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Margrit Simons
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Margrit Simons

If the above is NOT FAKE NEWS, then Trump should be ashamed of publicizing it, especially in his low class way of expressing himself!
Regardless, true or not, Trump has made the American Presidents Office into a joke!

Alexandria
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Alexandria

TRUMP SPEAKS THE TRUTH AND DOESN’T CARE WHAT PEOPLE THINK. I WONDER IF HEIDI WILL GO BACK TO HOOKING SINCE CRUZ LOST BIGTIME? WITH THE LOOKS OF HER, IT WOULD BE A LOW END CALL GIRL. THIS IS PATHETIC.

Alexandria
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Alexandria

I believe in Trump 100%. He says whatever he wants and what we need to hear. I really don’t think he would say Heidi was a call girl unless he knew he had the evidence to back him up. Its a crying shame that we could have had a First Lady that was once a hooker. Now they say Malania was a call girl too. I love Trump but can’t stand his wife and his daughter Ivanka. They are snotty spoiled brats.