Elderly Poll Monitor Tackles Vote Fraudster

Elaine Tesh apprehended a man attempting to vote twice.
Elaine Tesh apprehended a man attempting to vote twice.

Orlando, FL — Election day is finally here, millions of Americans are heading to the polls to cast their vote for the future. But some voters are at the polls for nefarious purposes. They are there to vote more than once, committing voter fraud a felony punishable by prison time.

Elaine Tesh, a 79-year-old wheelchair bound poll monitor working at a Orlando voting station, found herself face to face with a young man attempting to vote a second time. When Elaine confronted the man, 24 year old Jaime Howell, the man attempted to flee the scene. Elaine, a senior Olympian, gave chase in her wheelchair. Howell soon became fatigued trying to run while wearing skinny jeans, as Elaine ran him down in the parking lot jumping from her wheelchair to take Howell to the ground.

After Howell was placed in a police car, Elaine spoke with Gish Gallop about her ordeal.

“I knew something was up when I smelled patchouli oil for the second time in 20 minutes,”  said Elaine. “As soon as we locked eyes, it was on him. He was charged and nobody violated my house!”

Mr. Howell was arrested by Orlando police and is being held in isolation after being reduced to tears by other inmates for being caught by an old woman.

Previous articlePolling Booths Inside Trump Tower Raise Eyebrows
Next articleTraveling Meat Salesman Harasses Grass Valley Neighborhood
Cleveland Sam
Cleveland Sam, born Sam C. Sharpe, is a hero, a hero to anyone who knows him in Ohio. At the mere age of 7, he rescued a small girl from the clutches of a herd of llamas outside his boyhood home of Cleveland, OH. By the age of 12, he had already rescued over 14 children from near deaths ranging from freak ice cream truck accidents, to drownings in neighbors' Dough Boy Pools. But his heroism didn't stop at youth. No sir. As a teenager, he saved the entire cheerleading squad of his local high school from certain death with their "party van" caught fire during a local "rager." He writes for Gish Gallop because he feels he needs to rescue it. He's probably correct.