Lynchburg, VA — According to a memorandum released by the private evangelical Christian Liberty University, gay porn is only gay if you’re a Democrat. The religious pronouncement, which bore current president Jerry Falwell, Jr., is seen as a “dog whistle” aimed at both the Christian Fundamentalist community and Trump supporters.

This is not the first time the leader of Liberty University has made controversial comments about gay pornography. Last year, Mr. Falwell encouraged students to “watch gay porn to keep an eye on the deviants.”

“It’s clear that many Democrats are trying to take President Trump down,” said Mr. Falwell in an internal university meeting following the memo’s release. “When Jesus said we’re all sinners, he meant all of us, everybody. I don’t think you can choose a president based on their behavior because even if you choose the one that you think is the most decent. but it’s clear that the homosexual lifestyle means something entirely different to Leftists than it does to believers in Christ.”

News of the announcement spread quickly through conservative social media.


“Well, all I can say is that I’m relieved,” said self-proclaimed Trump deplorable Jax Hinton in the 170,000 user Donald Trump For President 2020!!!!!! Facebook group. “I mean, I fucked a couple of dudes recently, but that was more about power. That in and of itself doesn’t make me gay because I’m a Republican.”

Still, others were more contemplative about Mr. Falwell’s pronouncement.

“All these libtards are gay. And Michelle Obama is a man. A shemale, you know,” said Justin Hines of Carol, Alabama. “I mean I’ve watched a lot of them Internet shemale videos. For research and shit like that. But since I’m not a Democrat, I can tell my wife to come back now ’cause I’m not gay like she said I was.”

Several pro-Trump online commenters pointed out that lesbian porn was always OK, but were relieved to learn that hardcore guy-on-guy sex is now OK to watch.

As for Mr. Falwell, he wanted to make sure his flock kept his eye on the mark.

“It’s wholesome entertainment if you’re a Republican,” continued Mr. Falwell on the leaked video of the event. “Make sure you keep voting for Trump, and God will protect you. Remember, you become what ye behold as 2 Corinthians teaches us.”