Exclusive Insider Perspective: The Global Chemtrails Summit Interview

The riveting world of conspiracy theories is said to be boring in all honesty.
The riveting world of conspiracy theories is said to be boring in all honesty.

We received an exclusive interview with an attendee of the 2017 Global Chemtrail Summit.  For anonymity’s sake, we will call him JP.


Gish Gallop: Why did you decide to go to the Chemtrail Summit, and did you meet your own goals and expectations?

JP: When people have opinions that are demonstrably wrong, I enjoy asking them uncomfortable questions. So, yes. I got what I was after. Ha ha ha.

Gish Gallop: Was there anything that the chemtrail supporters said that you personally connected with, positive and/or negative?

JP: Not really. It was just a bunch of bullshit that made my eyes glaze over.

Gish Gallop: Did the topic of the Summit maintain its consistency throughout the event? Were other fringe theories brought up by speakers or the audience?

JP: It was consistent, and I don’t recall other fringe theories being brought up. I was in and out a lot of the time, but from what I could see, discussion-wise, all roads led to back to chemtrails.

Gish Gallop: Did you sense a running theme of mental illness or paranoia among the chemtrail believers? Any aggression?

JP: There was a general vibe of “don’t confuse us with facts” thrown at me. That one fat guy seemed really pissed off. I was kind of bracing for him to leap out of his chair and fight me

Gish Gallop: So aggressive behavior when challenged in real life?

JP: Oh, yes.  It wasn’t his words or turn of phrase that gave the indication of aggression, but more so his posture and his tone of voice

Gish Gallop: Body language, do you think he knew better than to jump but his instincts wanted him to?

JP: I’d say so. He was getting pretty annoyed with me. Heh heh heh heh.

Gish Gallop: If you could have organized the Summit yourself, how would it have been different?

JP: If I was running any kind of summit about environmental hazards, I would have stuck to the truth and not dealt in cockeyed bullshit. Come to think of it, it’s no wonder environmentalists are faced with so much opposition, what with all the kooks making their side look bad.

Gish Gallop: Do you think conspiracy theorists make anything they associate themselves with negative, as you stated prior? Take vaccines for example…

JP: I suppose in certain instances, yes. If you look at the reported cases for pertussis year by year on the Centers for Disease Control Website, you’ll notice when the anti-vaccine craze took hold when you see the number of cases began to spike.

Gish Gallop: Do you see any chance at recovery for these people? In general. Or will it take the abolishment of the concept of poisonous geoengineering to finally kill the idea?

JP: How do we abolish such a concept?

Gish Gallop: Good point, some would say it’s impossible. Some suggest medication and therapy. Myself? I don’t see a “cure” or elimination of ideology.  Let’s go ahead and wrap this up. Would you like to include any conclusive statements?

JP: As for the chance for recovery… well that’s gonna be a tall order in a society that unfortunately equates ignorance with freedom.


There you have it, folks, Chemtrailers are stiff, boring, and aggressive when challenged.  If you ever encounter a rabid chemtrailer online, just tell them that the jet trails in the sky are contrails and let it go.  If you have any friends that are dabbling in such things as chemtrails or other conspiracy theories please direct them to seek help.

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