Las Vegas, NV — After several major news outlets have announced the death of former Cuban leader Fidel Castro, several news “debunking” sites have claimed that his demise is a hoax. According to sources close to the former dictator, he has performed stand-up comedy at a Las Vegas, Nevada casino for the past 5 years.
“I’ve worked at the Venetian for the past 8 years,” said hotel cocktail waitress and part-time exotic dancer Candy Whip speaking via telephone interview. “So when I saw all these reports of Fidel dying, I was like, ‘well I just saw him last night.’ So it just seems like another one of those fake news things.”
According to Venetian patrons who have seen Mr. Castro’s 45-minute routine, most admit that the elderly Cuban is not funny, often brash and spends most of his time lecturing the audience about the evils of American Capitalism.
“So my sister told me that I must go see Castro’s act,” said Walnut Creek, CA tech worker Seth Smith. “She told me it was the funniest thing she ever saw. So I was like, ‘OK, I’ll pay the 85 bucks to see him. Turns out, and I hate to blow the gag, but this is one of the secret jokes. He isn’t even remotely funny, but it’s funny to tell friends and family that he’s hilarious so you can get them to go. It’s like the time my sister told me to try the garlic ice cream at the Gilroy Garlic Festival. She told me, ‘Oh Seth, it’s the best thing ever!’ I couldn’t wait to try it. And when I did, I vomited on my 12-year-old.”
According to the Venetian, Fidel Castro plays the main theater with 4 shows per week, Wednesday through Fridays at 7pm. Tickets start at $85.