Washington D.C. — Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) is responsible for preparing and responding to national disasters of all kinds. So it came as a surprise when FEMA released its recent warning statement on Twitter.

“We’re fucked,” FEMA.

Gish Gallop spoke to FEMA insider and frequent Coast to Coast AM radio personality Jorge Mendoza.

“In short, people are just straight-up fucked,” said a distraught Jorge. “Between Nibiru, domestic terrorism, out-of-control government spending, and antibiotic-resistant superbugs, we’re gonna die, and there isn’t a damn thing we can do about it.”

Jorge, who appeared drunk, continued.

“The government wants us to corral you, Nibiru, well shit, Nibiru will enslave us all,” said Jorge as he passed out.

There is no official word from the Trump Administration regarding FEMA’s statement.

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