Grass Valley, CA — A fight broke out during an encore showing of the latest Star Wars epic during the franchise premiere this week. The altercation took place about 45 minutes into The Force Awakens when two local and long-time friends started arguing about the gender of furry supporting character Chewbacca. Lee Corneys of Grass Valley and Jerry Dodge were both taken into custody after the brawl and later released on bail.
“Look,” said Grass Valley native and Star Wars fanatic Lee Corneys in a Gish Gallop telephone interview. “I just leaned over and told Jerry that I thought more than ever that Chewie was female. I didn’t expect him to get all wigged-out or anything. But he got real angry and told me to ‘shut the f*#$ up. But of course he didn’t shut up. He started to ‘whisper’ yell at me. He told me that I was full of sh*# and that I must be gay or something. What a dick.”
According to people in the theater, both men were watching the film without incident. Then about 1/2 way into the film, the two erupted into a loud argument which disrupted the audience. Attendants at the historical Del Oro Theater immediately asked both men to leave, which they did yelling as they left the cinema.
“I was working the counter when they both stormed into the lobby,” said theater worker Monica Davenport. “This one guy was shouting at the other guy. Calling him a ‘fag’ and other horrible things as they walked towards the door. And then the guy being yelled at threw his large popcorn and soda at the other guy. That’s when it really got out of hand and the manager called 9-11.”
The police report mentioned that both men started taking swings at each other at the entrance. Since neither was particularly skilled at fist fights, neither man managed to land an actual punch. Because of this, Mr. Corneys charged Mr. Dodge headfirst, causing the bigoted, slur-laden Mr. Dodge to lunge backwards into the ticket booth where he sustained minor injures.
“The little guy just kept saying ‘Chewbacca is a girl you asshole,'” said a disinterested ticket booth employee Jared Boxer. “And the other guy just kept calling him a word I really shouldn’t use. Anyhow, I’m just glad the cops got there and hauled them away. They made a hell-of-a-mess in lobby.”
Gish Gallop reached out to Jerry Dodge for comment, and initially he told us to “go f*&# ourselves.” However after repeated attempts, Mr. Dodge released the following statement.
“I regret the altercation at the Del Oro. I am innocent. Mr. Corneys is responsible for escalating events due to his aggression. And, everyone know Chewbacca is a boy. How could you not know this?”
Both men are scheduled to appear in Superior Court later this week.